hearing about the girl who died two days ago that went to my school made me think about you and then i realised its 1 year today you died! its gone so quickly it makes me sad to think of you not being here to experience it. i think what it must it be like for your family and close friends it must be awful! you were a star im sorry i never got to talk to you much because you werent talking and i know we were never close but you were an important part of my life. i feel like i have no right to feel sad you are gone because we werent that close eventhough i spent 1 year with you. there are other people like your family and people who knew you outside of hospital that knew you so much better so i feel like they have so much more right to be upset. its confusing and makes me feel guilty feeling sad and upset by it so thats why i didnt come to our momorial today because i dont feel worthy of it.
im sorry! you were amazing i hope you are in peace with your mum.
xxx
To my dearest precious J
I miss you so so much. It aches my heart. I hate not being with you. I hate that you were so cruelly taken away from me. I know its selfish but I need you.
You were always there for me. You lsitined to me. you comforted me. you made me smile. Laugh. You cheered me up when I was sad.
You will never realise how mucch I miss you, I will be with you soon though, and I hope that when I do come up there, I am with you.
I want you back please come back.
I should have helped you more. But I got ill and I tried my best. I know thats no excuse.
You got ill too, and then you left me. Your in peace now though, no more pain.
I miss you so much. I love you. Please dont ever forget about me. Because I think about you everyday.
it's been 2 months, 16 days, and about 5 hours since you left me. does it ever get any easier? i hope it does. it's so hard without you here cheering me on, helping me up when i fall, loving me. i miss you so much. you were my best friend. these days, it seems like you were my only friend. no one understands, or tries to understand. i feel like everyone's tired of listening to me whine. not a day goes by that i don't think of you, cry over you, and miss you terribly. please come back. please?
My dearest darling angels... Mumma loves you with all her heart.
My darling Zachariah Michael Bradley, the last memory I have of you is holding your tiny body in my arms, and watching the light fade from your blue eyes as you slipped away. Your body was too weak to sustain you, and it was selfish of me to try and keep you when you would have been too weak to live a fulfilling life. My darling boy, I will never forget you. -19 September 2007 - 20 September 2007
My dear sweet Alexander Ryan James, Mumma is sorry she lied to everyone about the circumstances surrounding you. I told everybody I aborted you, but I just couldn't do it. Who would have known that I would have lost you because of a selfish overdose a week later? Mumma loves you dearly with all of her heart. - August 2010 (meant to be 4th April 2011)
My darling Delaney Ann Isabelle. It was a week ago that I felt you inside of me... until another selfish decision took your life with it. Your dadda loves you, I'm sure, that's why he finds it so hard to be close to me right now. Mumma loves you dearly, sweet girl. Mumma's sorry she took your life from you, darling girl. I will never forget you, sweet angel. -July 2011 (meant to be 8th March 2012)
I wish I could turn back time, and have you all. My three sweet children. Mumma loves you with all of her heart. And all of your dadda's love you.
Hey Nan, wow where's the six years gone? I miss you and think about you every day. You'd love the guy I'm seeing now, and so would Granddad. I keep thinking of all the times you've been there for me, and I wish so much that you were still here now. But don't you worry your little girl's being looked after.
R.I.P. R. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you're at peace. You worked so damn hard in recovery, and for what? For someone to ****ing strip your life away? I hope they find out who did it, and I hope they get what they goddamn deserve. You were a decent person, a good person, so polite, funny, friendly, sweet... and someone took your life away from you, from this world. I hope you're at rest. I really do. I'm sorry.
I can't believe its been 10 years already. I still miss you so much. I'm sorry i didn't come see you and Nan but things kicked off at home and i had to sort them out. I hope you're happy and in peace up there. If i could have you back just for one more day then i'd be happier. I miss you But at least you have Nan there with you. I promise i will visit soon. I hope you're watching over us xx
Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up
I miss you all soo much.
I think about you all every single day which passes.
Grandad Bill - I never got to meet you as you died the year before i was born. We have never really talked about you because grandad always gets upset when we talk about you but having met family i didn't even know has changed that. Malcolm has told me all about you and even got mum talking about you. She did cry though because she said i would have been the apple of your eye the same way im the apple of grandad's eye, that upset mum that you never got to see me and it upsets me too. Everyone misses you soo much, I hope your at peace grandad Bill.
I love all my angels in heaven. Sleep tight and come see me in my dreams soon please.
xxxxxxxxx
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
3 years dad!! and i cant believe it seriously it seems like yesterday that we were in that hospital with you and just holding your hand willing praying and hoping that you would get better! i still cant believe it, its just not fair seriously you were the best person and best friend i had never spoke a bad word to anybody!! and i love you so so unbelievably much i just wish that you were hear!!
ive made so many mistakes and im so so sorry for what ive done and the hurt that i have caused!! i hope that you dont hate me for it
i miss you, so much, you had such an impact on my life for the short time you were in it, every time i look at my tattoo, i stop and remember the memories, i won't give up, i will never give up, i promised you i wouldn't and i'll stick to that promise, i love you!
One track mind, one track heart
If I fail, I'll fall apart
Maybe it is all a test
Cause I feel like I'm the worst
So I always act like I'm the best
If you are not very careful
Your possessions will possess you
TV taught me how to feel
Now real life has no appeal!
I miss you so much. I can't stop watching that video. Seeing you smile and laugh. Reading your blog. HOW could this happen. I feel like there is something I should've done. I know there is something I could've done. There is so much that should've been done that you deserved and couldn't do for yourself because of your illness. You needed somebody to take over. Somebody to save you. I know you would have to be willing to be saved. But I think part of you was. I know you didn't want it to end like this.
This is such a ramble. Honey, I'm glad you're free. You suffered so long. But you always had a way of bringing a smile to others. I think of you everyday. So much of the day. I think I'm still in shock. Like this is all a nightmare...I'll wake up and you will be here.
Love you to the moon and back. And back again.
I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
RIP Grandma. I love you so much, && I don't know what to do with myself now you've gone. Acting normal seems so hard, but some things give me hope that you will always be with me.
I wanted to write out this poem for everyone dealing with loss, and hope it helps you all like it helped me:
Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you wake from sleep in the morning's hush, I am the swift, uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight. I am the soft starlight at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die.
I miss you so, so much.
Please come home soon; I need you.
We need you.
We miss you.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I really wish you were here with me right now. You always knew what to say, the right words, the right time to hug me, the time to make me laugh. I miss you unk... I miss you aunt. I want you both back. You deserve to still be here. And yeah I'm glad you're not struggling and not in pain anymore but you shouldn't have been ill in the first place. 2 horrible diseases took you both from me last year and I miss you so much. So ****ing much. Please come back.
I love you with all my heart,
Your precious Ami xxx
I love you Pappy, I wish you were still here, I could really use you. I miss you so much. Every time there's a thunderstorm I think of you <3 RIP I love you so so so much
hey princess,
5 years today, I cant believe its gone so fast, its stupid because I still sometimes find myself waiting that little extra when madam comes out I still expect you to follow. Her laugh is just like yours, still.
Please know im so sorry I couldnt take her, I couldnt have her living with me, the space and me and sam I just duno how it would have worked. I never meant for it to be like this, but sisne you have gone youve seen ur mums drinking, I couldnt leave her like she was, I had to ring them. But u can see shes happy, she loves her foster family, they look after her well and she is just like the bubberly little kid she was as a child. Please forgive me, I didnt know what else to do. I know I promised I look after her, but shes so happy where she is, so I kinda did it?
I miss you like crazy, and still sometimes I get angry with you, why did u have to do it? you could have held on? you could have struggled through, I know it was horrible and hard and the illness took over, but god I wish u had hung on.... We could both still have done it, struggled through,
5 years today I lose my sister, my friend and somebody I love,
5years today Madam lost twice as much, and got left with me!!
5years and it only feels like yesterday,
I love you I miss you and think about u always xxxx
' Your always going to have the hurt, you may as well use it'
'Writing can be a way of righting any wrongs that have been done to you'
'Scars tell a story of where u have been, but they dont have to dictate where u are going'
please come back.
