Contains sexual abuse - I Need to Admit This to Myself.

[RedRaven]

Okay, I know what happened to me. I know what he did to me, what he used to do day after day. I just don't know if I completely believe it... I'm in denial, I guess... So I'll just write whatever comes to my mind.

He sexually abused me. Day after day. And I was still a child. He was only about two years older than me. Why the hell didn't I scream? Or hit him? Why was I just standing there, saying "no" so quietly, instead of pushing him away? What the **** is wrong with me? I was sexually abused as a child by a guy who was once my "best friend." And I'm starting to think it was my fault. I feel so gross... so dirty. :/

[Drake]

I'm sorry that that happened to you. It is understandable to not be able to speak loudly or at all when one is afraid, as well as, not being able to hit/fight back can be a fear response. It is not your fault because he is the one who chose to abuse you. He could have chosen not to. You did nothing wrong.
I hope you are okay.

[crazykat]

It's not your fault what happened. Have you ever gotten any professional help to help you deal with the feelings it has brought up for you? Hold on there, you will get through this. Take care
Kat xxx

[Maddy5]

Oh sweet blame yourself. I know how you are feeling now and please listen to me. It is not your fault at all!! You were a child, you couldn't have helped it.

I suggest going and speaking to someone you trust or better someone who can professionally help you. Send me a PM if you want, I went through the same thing and sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who understands you.
Maddy xx

[NaughtyFrogs]

I agree with everyone else here! It wasn't your fault love, and no amount of convincing yourself it was will make it your fault.
I think you should speak to a professional, and if it doesn't work you've lost nothing.
I'm wishing you the best, love.
PM me if you need anything, let us know how things go.
xx
LaurieD