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Old 08-09-2020, 10:10 AM   #21
one_step_closer
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You've been battling urges many times, have you not found anything at all that helps?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 08-09-2020, 10:13 AM   #22
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This site is a warm, supportive, community.

My CPN has looked at some other sites and said they are all encourage them to self harm and push people.

You don't need any negative in your life. If you found a site like that then it would mess up any progress you have made.

Please don't.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 08-09-2020, 10:15 AM   #23
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We are all here to support, I hope you can start to feel more comfortable. Maybe if you stuck to one of your threads you would get more help than having lots of posts dotted around. Just an idea, not a judgement.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 08-09-2020, 04:50 PM   #24
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I tryed that with the im done thread and towards the last post that i made i felt more and more alone......... im sorry......


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 08-09-2020 at 05:46 PM. Reason: edited because i forgot a space


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 08-09-2020, 04:52 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomegranate View Post
How DO you feel?
I feel like shit!!!!



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 08-09-2020, 04:53 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomegranate View Post
What would people ‘irl’ know to make them understand?
they don't....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 08-09-2020, 04:53 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by one_step_closer View Post
You've been battling urges many times, have you not found anything at all that helps?
I don't know....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 08-09-2020, 05:29 PM   #28
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im sorry for asking this but then what do you want me to do then? because i feel so alone here... =(



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 08-09-2020, 06:02 PM   #29
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alone in this hell!

I feel so damn worthless, empty. sad, messed up, alone, angry, overwelmed by just everything!!!!!!! im so trapped within this fuckin life and no one gives a shitty damn!!!!!!!! I try to fake happy and everything in real life and say im fine and stuff like that but its hard!!! i feel so alone in real life..... it feels like no matter what i do it allways ends with it going from bad to fucked...... i dont know if i can live a happy perfect life that everyone esle has in real life....... im just destined.... to be messed up....... my destiny seems to get hurt by people only because for they wish to........only because they want to see me suffer......


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 09-09-2020 at 03:04 AM. Reason: added more to it


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 08-09-2020, 09:47 PM   #30
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In answer to your original post, yes sometimes. I think that's just the nature of online forums nowadays. Sometimes there just aren't the people around to answer or who feel able to reply to posts.

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Old 08-09-2020, 10:27 PM   #31
Zurg
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I Think it's about being in a certain state of mind, darkwings. No place Will feel like a home unless you make yourself home.

I've been to pro sites when i was a lot younger. It's not exactly the most vaulable kinds of friendships you'll find there. Sure, you'll feel included and welcomed into a special, little elite but the Price of that is very, very high. It's not uncommon that young people die in these communities. They drive each other so far out, the competition to be the best self harmer is fierce, and more often than not it ends in suicide. It's one thing to feel included in a community but you'll risk losing an awful lot of the friends you'll make. And i know i Sound harsh but people do die from self harm. It's not as uncommon as most of us would like to Think.

It's so bloody easy to get sucked in to this mindset that self harm is your friend and the only thing you can trust. And it's fucking hard being young in this world and this time and you probably spend a lot of time wondering who you can actually trust. Trust the people who want to help you. That's my advice. And i wish someone had given me that advice back when i was where you are now.

Make this place home. And know that even if nobody replied, someone reads and is thinking of you.
Xx

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Old 08-09-2020, 10:54 PM   #32
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ok i try to...

i dont think you were harsh... youre being truthfull about what you went through... and i will trust you and RYL.....
thank you so munch zurg for giving me insight on this subject!!!
*hugs you*
<3



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 09-09-2020, 10:09 AM   #33
Elmer
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Hi. I don't post much, but I've been here years and I come here for comfort more than anything. Stick at it, as Zurg says, no replies don't mean nobody cares. I read most things and care a great deal but as a general rule, have no idea what to say.

I've been on pro sites. They are dangerous. If somebody is actively encouraging you to hurt yourself, they are most likely not in a place mentally where they are able to really care about you and form a real bond. That's not to say they are a bad person, and it's not to say friendship is impossible, but I know from experience, a friendship formed on that foundation will not be a sustainable one. So it may be comforting in the short term to seek out people in a similar place to you, but in the long run, it will not help you find the belonging you are looking for.

So yes. Stick it out, there are some truly good people here.



'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'


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Old 09-09-2020, 05:48 PM   #34
Darkwings44
 
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ok i will...
but then what will?......
ill try..



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 09-09-2020, 05:51 PM   #35
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oh ok....
but i see sometimes alot of users are online and not one post on my thread...... im sorry if it sounds rude im not trying to be rude =(......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 09-09-2020, 06:16 PM   #36
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Yeah.. I would assume people just don't know what to say, but you can see how many views it got so you know it was read.

Honestly, most forums are pretty quiet these days. Perhaps, people would rather use FB rather than forums like they used to, what a pity!!

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Old 09-09-2020, 06:25 PM   #37
not_so_insig
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Some banned members usernames appear online so it doesn't necessarily mean that they're able to reply. Also some are older members who haven't posted for years who check in from time to time. Also some members are bots so that doesn't mean it's a actual person.

Also I think that you have to be in a certain state of mind to cope with serious discussion. I know when I am triggered I avoid certain areas of the site. It doesn't necessarily mean that a member reads your thread or know what to say just because they're online. In addition most of the forum is viewable to guests so if you have x amount of views it doesn't mean that it's a member because guests cannot reply.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013

Please do not pm me without permission as I find getting PMs very stressful.

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Old 09-09-2020, 06:28 PM   #38
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i want to disappear from this world!!

yesterday night i was in my room and i sort of Accidentally sort of bang my head and Accidentally cut my face twice and went to the restroom to wipe my face from the blood and i went to the staff and lucky the nurse was there at that time and i told her what had happened and she bandaged my face and stuff like that and they had to call the boss of the group home and he toke my word for it and then this mourning he said that the more he thought about what had happpened he was beliveing that i self harmed with my fingernails! but i would never self harm on my face i only sh on my arms or legs!!!!!



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 09-09-2020, 06:38 PM   #39
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ohhh i didnt know

i understand...



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 09-09-2020, 11:14 PM   #40
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i think the staff wants to cut my fingernails they said something about them being too long! but without them i cant sh my arms!!!! i haveno blade so without my fingernails im without sh besides biting but theres only so many places im able to bite!!!!!!!!! i cant deal with this!!!!!! I NEED TO DIE !!!!!


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 09-09-2020 at 11:15 PM. Reason: added more to it


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


10/20/2020 may you rest in peace kaci i will allways love you <3
Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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