Alcohol + bad thoughts
Hi everyone, I don't really know how to explain my problem without rambling on for several pages.
To keep it short: my home life isn't going so great. My father and I have been struggling since I can remember. I admit that i might be oversensitive but the way he's been treating me has completely eliminated my self-esteem. I will be moving out in the upcoming weeks anyway but I don't know how to cope NOW. I'm constantly stressed out and anxious, can't calm down. I can't explain how I feel. It's like... this deep, raw pulsating pain in my chest and whenever something happens or someone says something I can feel it spread through my body like poison. And it hurts like hell. Sometimes I try to drown it out with alcohol, sometimes I imagine really bad things I want to do to myself. Quite graphic things.
I want to feel normal again but how?