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10-03-2010, 08:17 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Mar 2008
I am currently:
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Triggering (Suicide) - i dont know
So, another stupid post. So I ruined things again with my ex of 3 years. Last time he said he'd never come back but did. Maybe I ruined things for good this time. I know this is stupid and naive bc I'm still so young, but I really do feel like we're meant to be together. This past school year has just been hell. I've learned to adapt to new situations. I messed up when I was single and was honest with him. He thinks I'm a slut I'm pretty sure. But the honest to God truth was that I was in the process of killing myself. It was a horrible time, the second worst time in my life so far. We talked today for the first time in a while and I don't want to rush things. I apologized for my actions and am working on forgiving others that have made me hurt in my life, including him. I'm not expecting him to forgive me anytime soon. I'm trying not to expect anything anymore really.
I almost just want to end things once I make amends with people. I always manage to screw things up and he's most likely gone from me forever. I just don't know if there's a point anymore after I've messed things up so much. Again, I know I'm young, and I know he's just a boy, but there has been a huge buildup and I've been hurting for years. It just seems easier sometimes. And sometimes I even wonder if there's a point to this life, if there even is a God. So there's no worries about going to hell. Again, I'm sorry for writing this.
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In recovery since April 2010.
You give me strength, Jacob.
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10-03-2010, 08:35 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Feb 2010
I am currently:
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Originally Posted by magatha1123
So, another stupid post. So I ruined things again with my ex of 3 years. Last time he said he'd never come back but did. Maybe I ruined things for good this time. I know this is stupid and naive bc I'm still so young, but I really do feel like we're meant to be together. This past school year has just been hell. I've learned to adapt to new situations. I messed up when I was single and was honest with him. He thinks I'm a slut I'm pretty sure. But the honest to God truth was that I was in the process of killing myself. It was a horrible time, the second worst time in my life so far. We talked today for the first time in a while and I don't want to rush things. I apologized for my actions and am working on forgiving others that have made me hurt in my life, including him. I'm not expecting him to forgive me anytime soon. I'm trying not to expect anything anymore really.
I almost just want to end things once I make amends with people. I always manage to screw things up and he's most likely gone from me forever. I just don't know if there's a point anymore after I've messed things up so much. Again, I know I'm young, and I know he's just a boy, but there has been a huge buildup and I've been hurting for years. It just seems easier sometimes. And sometimes I even wonder if there's a point to this life, if there even is a God. So there's no worries about going to hell. Again, I'm sorry for writing this.
life isnt always easy, i know what you mean, i fell so empty most days and sometimes the pain is so much i cant always cope, but the best advise i can give you is to became good friends and see if it devlops from there good luck
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10-03-2010, 09:42 PM
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#3
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It's full of lonely.
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: England
I am currently:
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Please don't be sorry for posting this. It's good you are able to vent it all out.
I hope you do get to work everything out though. Prehaps you could explain everything to the guy what you just talked about here? It could help.
If you need to talk about anything else, we're always here and you could also ring a helpline such as samaritans if you would like.
Hope you're alright. <3
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<3.
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10-03-2010, 09:52 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Mar 2008
I am currently:
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I'm just worried talking to him will only make things worse. I just feel completely hopeless with everything right now. I guess I might as well talk to him I have nothing to lose. Can't get much lower than this. I have two midterms tomorrow but I'm so depressed I can't even think, I cut again, and all I can think about is just ending it soon.
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In recovery since April 2010.
You give me strength, Jacob.
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11-03-2010, 03:24 AM
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#5
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Join Date: Mar 2008
I am currently:
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And he told me that he wouldn't care if I died. And this other guy is lying again just to add on top of it. No one cares.
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In recovery since April 2010.
You give me strength, Jacob.
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11-03-2010, 04:32 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Mar 2008
I am currently:
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People don't even care on here I guess...fuck....there really is no point is there
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In recovery since April 2010.
You give me strength, Jacob.
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