Contains sexual abuse - I'm not strong right now
I was sexually abused by my father when I was younger. I haven't heard from him in years, haven't seen him since the last time (I was 13, I'm 19 now).
I'm finally in a place where I feel safe. It took moving states away and cutting off all possible means of communication with him (blocked on Facebook, changing phone numbers every time I see an opportunity, not telling the rest of my family the address). In the year I've been living here, I haven't seen or spoken to my family, and they seem fine with that.
I finally felt free. Last night, I checked my Facebook and I found a message from him, in my "Other" box. He created a new Facebook just to intimidate me.
I never told ANYONE what happened, no one that could do anything. The message said, basically, "I don't know who spoke. It was you or [Insert half-sister's name here]." I didn't know he'd ever done anything to her. I know her mom left him. I know he wasn't allowed to see her.
I didn't sleep last night. My fiance wasn't able to touch me without warning me. It hurt so much to shut him out like that.
I've been okay for so long. Seeing him in my inbox triggered new memories. I can't even talk about them. I can't do anything. I'm exhausted and I can't sleep. I want to cut so badly but I CAN'T let my fiance down.
I'm not strong right now.
I'm so sorry if this was lengthy and scattered.