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Old 14-09-2014, 03:32 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Contains sexual abuse - I feel gross

A guy i new thought is was surprising i didnt sleep around. I still dont tell people about the sexual abuse i went though when i do it brings it all back. He thought grabbing my boobs and rubbing me would change the way ive got my mind to ignore things. It sent me right back to the year the guys sexually harassed me on the bus. I said dont but he kept doing it and i froze and went to a safe place and waited for it to be over. I feel so gross i couldnt even get words out of my mouth. I ended up freezeing and waiting till it was over... I let it happen again... I took a self defence class it didnt even help me.... Know im having flashback and i want to cry.... My bf is going to me pissed i cant have him see me upset like this again. He wont be mad at me but him. He understands i have flashbacks and everything.

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Old 14-09-2014, 03:15 PM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Australia
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I can relate. I've frozen and let similar things happen. It's awful when it's done without consideration for how you feel. I'm at least lucky some friends understand I struggle with hugs and physical contact sometimes. I hope you're ok. Would writing it out help you to get some of the feelinsg out?

So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics

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