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Old 06-05-2011, 08:11 PM   #1
mikey
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Today I am proud of myself

Wrote this in my journal too but I wanted to share. Hope it's not too indulgent of me.

I realised today just how far I have come in a year.
This time last year I was in an acute psychiatric ward for nearly 3 months with a crippling depression that led me to attempt suicide (will full intent) several times. I was unable to sit my Uni final exams for Veterinary Medicine, and ended up suspending my studies for a year. In this year I managed to do such a lot, and it really hit me today when I was talking to my sister
  • I have a part-time job
  • I moved out and live in a small terraced cottage on my own, and am loving it
  • I got a puppy, which is something Iíve wanted to do (but been nervous about) for the last 6 years. Heís called Reuben and he brings me so much joy every day. Heís well trained, sociable and incredibly good-natured. Iím proud of the way I brought him up.
  • I made some really close friends and have several hobbies which I really enjoy
  • From not opening up to anybody about my problems (over the last 8 years or so), I am now much more honest with my mum, sisters and my close friends. I have only ever received support and kindness from them.
  • And... I am sitting my exams! They start a week on Monday. Iím studying well but not too hard. I have learned moderation. I have learned that I donít need to know everything. The pass mark is 50%; I donít need to get 100%. Actually, even if I fail one of them, I consider it a huge accomplishment to even be sitting them. I would be disappointed, but I would be able to overcome it, take the re-sit exam, and pass it the second time round. And if I do pass this time? Well, I will very soon be a Ďrealí vet!
  • I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and am gradually coming to terms with what this means for my future.

Iím not going to lie and say that everything is perfect. I take a handful of pills every night and hate it. My anorexia is back and is, at times, a huge struggle.
But I think I can do it.
Iím so, so glad I didnít die.
There are several people on here who stuck with me and have made a massive difference to my life, and I want to thank you. You know who you are.
I have a fantastic summer planned out with loads of things to look forward to after my exams.
I really feel like I have achieved a lot of good things from what was an extremely difficult situation.
Today I am proud of myself.
And it feels fantastic.



There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!

Terry Pratchett


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Old 06-05-2011, 09:00 PM   #2
pretty_in_pain
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Well done! That's so amazing, and inspirational. Keep up the positivity :)




"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars"
- Oscar Wilde


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Old 07-05-2011, 10:13 AM   #3
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That's great to read. Well done!




Каждому, каждому в лучшее верится,
Катится, катится голубой вагон!




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Old 07-05-2011, 01:42 PM   #4
one_step_closer
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That's brilliant!





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 07-05-2011, 06:16 PM   #5
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Well done you! An inspiration to us all. xx



SERENITY is my RYL mum.
SOLO is my RYL auntie.
SEFKA is my RYL daughter.
DAYS GONE BYE is my RYL sister.
JEFFERSON.MERIWETHER is my RYL son.
OLINESS is my RYL son.


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Old 07-05-2011, 10:14 PM   #6
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Love you xxx



~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P
Bitter Angel is my Mitten
Animad is my Top Trump
All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P



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Old 07-05-2011, 10:19 PM   #7
Laura2.0
 
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Go you!



You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.

- Olivia Benson

Laura, Ginger, Cassi, Luna, Joni, Lena


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Old 08-05-2011, 04:45 PM   #8
mikey
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Thank you all



There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!

Terry Pratchett


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Old 08-05-2011, 08:41 PM   #9
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Amazing Ange!!! When you put it all together like that it sounds really incredible! xxxxx



Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.

"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"


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Old 09-05-2011, 01:22 AM   #10
Bitter_Angel
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YAY Go you!! :)




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Old 11-05-2011, 02:03 AM   #11
strawberry11
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:) speechless

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Old 16-05-2011, 06:46 PM   #12
Merc
 
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Amazing, Ange!
PS...pls write/share more in CC...I love your writing.
The images you create out of your words are amazing.
xxx

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Old 23-06-2011, 05:15 AM   #13
aklx
 
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Well done!
That genuinely is inspiring, thank you for sharing it with us.

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Old 23-06-2011, 05:19 AM   #14
crazykat
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Thank-you for sharing, well done



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 23-06-2011, 09:35 AM   #15
akita
 
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That's awesome.






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Old 23-06-2011, 01:51 PM   #16
mikey
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Thanks all.
I'd forgotten I'd written this, and reading it over now (I've been feeling pretty awful recently) made me feel more positive.



There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!

Terry Pratchett


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Old 23-06-2011, 05:37 PM   #17
GlitterTrashDoll
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Well Done - it's really positive to read that.



DILLIGAF



"itís when youíre acting selflessly, that you are at your bravest"
- Four.
CTFxC'er forever.


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Old 23-06-2011, 05:58 PM   #18
Louise
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well done and thank you for sharing it with us. x





ďNever lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.Ē


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