I don't really know what to say,,basically before going to uni I developed "bulimic tendencies", I would "binge&purge" alot, worst in the summer..
I went to uni and for the first week I was fine, ate fine, but soon came back until it was x times a day, tried a counsellor, didn't help..
Came home and stopped for a while, but now relapsing back into the behaviours,, and my parents go back to work tomorrow & I'm alone all week next week too..I know i'm going to be just as bad.
Got lots of work for uni to do but just not motivated..
I've been persuaded to see a dr when I'm back at uni but I don't even know what to say? How can I get better when I'm not ready? Is there seriously any point in even going??
Sorry for another thread, I just don't see what they can do?
Katee, your posting which means you want to get better. Deep down, which means seeing a Dr is worth it.
Iknow your so tired & fed up of not getting anywhere with professionals or when you finally get settled they go, but if what you want is your life back then its worth seeing what this one has to say.
Whats the point in not going? Its worth a try even if its not what you wanted or needed.
Please go darling, your struggiling & you need&deserve help.
I don't see the point though. If you're not ready, no one can help you.. I've been told that time & time again.
I don't wanna be drugged up so they can make me want it..
Tbh, I have a feeling it's all gonna get worse
I just purged a stupidly low amount of cals, feel terrible mood wise and to top if off I have to go for a meal now..
At least at uni I don't get watched & I can do what the heck I want ¬.¬
If i'm honest, I have no idea what I want.
I just think I won't be taken seriously anyway, I'm basically normal weight now so I can't be that ill..
What if you had help for the low mood - as in, medication and/or community support/therapy which lead to you wanting to recover? Perhaps not wanting to recover from disordered eating is due to being so unhappy. Tackling the mental illness helps to tackle the physical behaviours - so you then might be ready to work on the disordered eating, if that makes any sense.
It's also definitely possible to be very ill at a normal weight, with eating issues/disorder.
You have just said yourself you have just purged, that makes you ill. Purging isnt right & you know that.
I agree that if you take some meds to help lift your mood abit you`ll be able to want to recover alot more. Plus, nobody will be drugging you up, you control wether or not you take them.
Its worth a try kate. What do you have to lose...
Hi hun please go I am not fully ready recover but there is still alot people can help you with.Im sorry about your friend I feel similar when mine dont reply but try to remember Im sure its not that they dont want to help just that they are busy.Please get the help you need.Sorry not to be much usex
Sweetie, I'm so sorry you are struggling. I hope you are okay right now. I am here for you always. Remember that <3
Also, I DO see a point in seeing a doctor. Even in you are not ready. You can still see a doctor to check in on your health. Andddd...to get a reference to a therapist or ED specialist. Even if you are not ready to recover. You can still have a therapist (sorry! I forget if you are already seeing a professional). Somebody to talk to and just have there to support you in whatever you are ready for, even if that is just talking about stressors in your life. They can go at your pace.
I've been in therapy for over a year, not ready to stop cutting, not ready to stop restricting, not ready to stop overdosing, etc. And my therapist respects that. She just is there to talk through what is going on in my life and support me. It's been really helpful. And it's good to know that I have somebody to help me when I am ready to stop these behaviors.
I really think you should at least schedule an appointment with a doctor. It's important to make sure you are healthy. Blood tests can show if you are deficient in any vitamins and may need to take supplements (that will not make you gain weight, they will just make your body healthier).
Hang in there honeypie <3 xoxox
I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
I was seeing a counsellor, she left.. All my past support's been pretty useless but I do miss my ED specialist who I stupidly discharged myself, she understood me completely & never forced me to do anything,, now I've moved to uni it's so hard to get it all back into place.. Like with the counsellor I totally opened up to her, then in our last appt she just told me she was leaving and that was it,, I wasted my time and energy with that..
I want to try but I just..cant get rid of the suicidal urges, wanting to do it so much at the moment..
I think I agree with Pixie, if you're posting this the deep down there's at least a little bit you you that wants to recover, and that really does make it worth going to the doctor. <3
I hope that the meal today went okay too. xx
It didn't go too great.. My nan tried to make me have more than 1 course which I wouldn't budge on, ended up purging x times after & generally felt down due to some other stuff too.
I then found out she was talking to my boyf (who came with us) whilst I was in the toilet saying I was "counting calories again" (as if I ever stopped hah) and then told my mum,, but I kinda laughed it off with my mum and just hope it's the end of it..
You can hun. I'm sorry you had a bit of a rubbish night, meals out can be really tough, especially with family.
See tomorrow as a new day, a day to maybe keep more calories down, purge a little less, a day to try something positive, see how it goes?
I do think seeing a doctor would be a good idea. I can understand the mistrust and worry about going when you've been messed about beforehand (I was messed about a bit when I was getting help at uni) but you never know, this doctor could be different from the others. I'm glad you're going to give it a try.