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Old 23-08-2017, 10:02 AM   #1
Join Date: May 2017
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6 years since you left us and I'm struggling

I realised today that on Monday it'll be 6 years since my friend killed himself. I still feel like I could have done something even though I know anything I tried probably wouldn't have made a difference. I think it's hit me harder this year because of what I've been feeling and going through this past year.

I miss him so much and can't stop crying. I know he would have supported me through everything I'm going through at the moment. I just wish I could have done the same for him.

I think this weekend is going to be a tough one for me.

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Old 23-08-2017, 08:53 PM   #2
The Shadow of the Day
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

Sorry for your loss and that it is affecting you badly. Anniversaries are tough, especially when you are already feeling raw. I hope that you will be able to take care of yourself and to reach out to someone if you need to as I'm sure that would be what your friend would want for you. Unfortunately you can't change what's happened but you can take steps to look after your own well being. I'm here if it helps to talk.

I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

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Old 24-08-2017, 11:02 PM   #3
Join Date: May 2017
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I can't ever stop feeling guilty about not trying to phone them or even go round and see them as they'd been off work for ages, I have no idea why I didn't. I feel like such a hypocrite as I tried last month what they had succeeded at. Not because of them but with everything else that's happened to me and my brain deciding that everything is against me.

I know I've got friends who say they're there for me but they've all got their own problems. I can't keep going to them otherwise they'll get fed up of me.

I think I've just got to get used to this feeling on the anniversary every year.

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Old 28-08-2017, 12:56 PM   #4
I always have a choice
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Safety Cupboard
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I think it's the anniversary today and I just wanted to say that today is going as well as possible and that you are able to reach out to talk to someone if you need to, whether that be on here, in real life or calling a helpline.

Do you have any professional support for your own difficulties?

I know it's easier said than done, but you do not need to feel guilty. You could not have known what was going on and also he would not have wanted you to fee bad about a choice that he made.

We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult

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Old 30-08-2017, 03:25 PM   #5
Alice Price
Join Date: Aug 2017

I'm sorry for your loss. It's not easy for you. I think you should visit a psychologist to talk things out. A psychologist can help you to let it go and to start enjoying your life.

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