What the fuck is the point in waking up in the morning?
To go to a job that i absolutely hate?
To come home to a house that i also hate?
To not go out with the friends i don't have?
To be alone every day?
I have no purpose. No meaning.
I honestly feel like im ready to just be done now.
Everyone here is struggling, i get that. And so i don't expect replies because let's face it. I'm not.
maybe "making other people happy" isn't quite the right way to put it. i think its more about doing things that give you a sense of purpose and community and often times the things that do that involve helping other people in various ways, even if its just by lending a hand with a chore or giving them a hug when they're feeling down. and by doing that for someone else, it gives something back to you.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Mmm thats what EVERYONE says.
"it will get better."
"it cant last forever."
You dont know that. It might not get better. It might stay like this forever?
Dont know why i posted. Im not one of the popular people here so its not like im going to get 'kind replies.'
I dont know that, you're right, and I know that sometimes it can get really horrible with everyone telling you that its going to be okay in the end.
But I suppose there comes a point where either you decide that there is still hope, that things might just get better and you have faith, or you dont.
I can only speak from my own experiences and I just know that I'm so glad I'm still here because things did start to get better.
How much of this do you think is down to your situation, you metioned you dont like your job or where you live. I thought you were moving soon, do you think you might feel happier in a different environment?
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I don't see any reason why it would stay like this forever. Things rarely stay constant, especially if you are moving, that's going to be a big shift that is likely to have effect on you - and hopefully, and improvement to what you're feeling now. But if not that, then there is therapy and medications and many of other things all designed to help you get to the "better" place.
Now, where it is painful, is a difficult time especially when you have a sense of hopelessness about the future. But please don't let that blind-sight the fact that it is possible things will change, and for the better. I can't guarantee it, but you can't guarantee it's going to stay bad forever either. And with so many chance to try and improve things and so many options then I'd say hold onto a little bit of hope that one day, it will get better.
What sort of 'kind reply' are you after, Bee?
I don't know how you define popular but I do know you have friends here, and I think that is important to try and remember.
Whether you have a whole load of friends, or a small selection you can count on your fingers, people will still want to reply to you, Bee.
You're right, no-one does know for sure if things are going to get better but wouldn't it be a good idea to stick around a find out? It'd make sense because as Aimee said, things rarely stay constant. Nothing is going to last forever and even though it seems bleak now, who's to say the future won't be bright?
There's every point in waking up in the morning.. So we can stalk the ladyboy on Tumblr (:
And as for the job, who else can say they served Emma Watson a club sammich and got a £2 tip? Just you ;)
I don't have many words of advice hun, I just want to send lots of *hugs* your way.
I quite like that quote, everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end. It might sound hollow but it tends to be true. x
Hey Bee,
Sorry for such a late reply.
You're very right no one knows if this will get better but no one knows if things will just stay this way either. People telling you it will get better are jsut trying to offer some home in a bleak situation. Chin-up Bee, im here if you wanna PM and just chat or whatever.
Bee, I can empathise with how you are feeling. I often have incredibly similar thoughts. I am treatment resistant depressive though, and I work with my boyfriend and my care team to challenge these thoughts and work on small things to keep me going - Even if just to the next hour.
There is no certainty in life. Life itself is a constant flux and that means there is always opportunity in some way. Often, for me, it is looking at the small things that mount up and balance out the bad.
You do not need to have lots of people around you. You can also begin now to gain friends, should you want to. I personally have a few friends on line, one or two people I know in work, my boyfriend and my familly. That is it and for me, that is all I need right now.
You say you dislike your job, and I wonder if this is something you can look to change and improve? Perhaps look for alternative roles, or training to work towards something that excites you more and will help provide that reason to get up in the morning (besides paying you).
You also say you dislike home, and I wonder if this is the place, the memories it holds for you, or the people in it. In these cases it is often possible to move, or work towards moving (by saving, or looking at alternative arrangments).
I am not going to say everything will sudenly be sunshine and roses - as I do not believe that is true, change often takes time and effort. It can happen though. Please do keep going, as much of a struggle as it feels right now, as eventually you will find you can look back and spot those few good things beginning to pile up.
Be gentle with yourself. You are the only you you have got.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
