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Old 24-03-2017, 03:22 AM   #1
manic_felinemistress
 
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My psychiatrist said something I don't know how to process

Let me start out by saying I have never had an uneffected friend. Everyone who I have ever gotten close to either had a mental illness, was abused, or was severely codependent. I was explaining to my psych that I don't understand why my friendships don't last long, which I was hoping he'd suggest something in my PTSD based behavior or bipolar that I could hopefully work on and fix.

My psychiatrist said,

"I wish I could clone you for every single one of my patients: ones with aspergers, borderline, abuse ; everything. You have absolutely no concept of how to talk, behave, or empathize with normal people. None. I'm amazed you have been able to keep a friend longer than one year, but then again everyone you meet seems to be very ill. You behave and react perfectly to all these people and their multitude of problems which would scare most people. You know exactly how to address these problems in a way that's good for them. You are everything a sick person needs, and then they get better and don't need you anymore."

I'm happy... I help I guess? I mean, all I want for my friends is happiness, but does that mean I was just a tool they dispose of?

My psych said I would never be capable of empathizing with a "normal" person because it is all I will ever know.

I'm glad I help people --- heck, i'm in school to become a teacher... but I'm terrfied of trying to make new friends now.

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Old 24-03-2017, 04:15 AM   #2
Bellatrix
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Let me just say, your psychiatrist is wrong.

I was like you for a long time. All my friends were mentally ill. My life revolved around psychiatric problems. Mine, my partners, my friends, my family. It was all I knew. I thought I'd never be able to function outside of my illness.

And then I started my journey to recovery. And I can tell you your psych is wrong. You, like me, will make new friends, branch out and invest in healthy relationships, not co dependent ones.

It is possible, and it's something that comes with recovery.




Imperfection is underrated.



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Old 25-03-2017, 01:36 AM   #3
Mothzi
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That's really horrible that your psych said that... totally unprofessional and cruel in my opinion. I empathize a lot with your problem. It can be really hard to relate to the general public sometimes. I try to find people who understand, but are in recovery or have support outside of me so I don't end up being their therapist. You can totally have healthy relationships with people you relate to.



-danny

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Old 25-03-2017, 10:57 AM   #4
Arienette
 
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I can relate to this. I have been trying for years to make healthy friends as well- and I can never maintain them very well.

I have 1 friend but I met them via mental health is just that we are both better than we were and managed to make a healthy friendship. Otherwise it's like I'm doomed. I just don't know how to talk, what to say, what to keep reserved, or anything.

Maybe with time it will come. Maybe putting yourself in more social situations if you can might help? I know it's easier said than done. I started uni last September and hoped to make some healthy friends - I've made none. Nada! Zilch. I think it's quite impressive to go to uni and make 0 friends but that's the extent at which I struggle to identify with "healthy" people.

Hopefully in time it will pass with work and effort? I dunno. But I relate to what you said and hope your psych is wrong in their judgement.



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