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Old 16-07-2014, 10:14 PM   #1
Rug's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Stroud
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Reviews Requested- Contains upsetting material - Usually out of nowhere - poem

Another poem, this is my attempt at describing one of the processes my head goes through as I build towards an anxiety attack. Please let me know if there you have any thoughts or suggestions for it as it is a rough draft and needs some work.

Usually out of nowhere

My head is to crowded and noisy,
I can't hear the truth through the throng,
throbbing the pathways in my thoughts.
Reflected in my throat by a lump,
so colossal I can hardly breathe.

I'm bombarded by the bustle,
that resonates with the cramped cluster,
easily comparable to a food market in Gloucester.

One with freebies.

The river flows down the dock,
I don't know where it springs from,
I've tried many a map,
but I don't have the resources.
So I force this flow to stop.

I tell everyone to go home,
hide away the unknown,
and return to the un-peaceful,
quiet of on my own.
I worry that the boy I bury,
is all alone and I cant tell,
if the tears are his,
or if there is more of me to learn.

I have to shut it down.

Shut it down and stand firm,
so I don't catch myself dying again.

I try to keep my brain in the room.
The room I am sitting in.
Keep my hands by my sides.
I need to be weapon-less,
but disarmed feels dangerous,
So I jiggle my foot or rock,
from side to side and then a scramble,
of tears convey the tide.

It's just a second but I keep it in,
By slapping my eyes,
I am dreaming of knives till my head collides,
with the side till I get up and pace it off,
but I find myself at the fridge or a shop,
with a snack in my gob,
far from the feeling that started this off.

Without even knowing I have run,
so far but it is never quite enough,
to escape the bazaar. It's a long way from the start,
but it feels like I'm stuck in the thick of it,
surrounded by the noise. Surrounded by the fire.

Thanks :)

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Old 21-07-2014, 08:11 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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wow this is really good well done wish i could write like this

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Old 30-10-2014, 02:42 PM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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I didn't realise anyone had commented. Thank you still that is a real compliment. I can't remember if I have read anything you have written?

Do you post?

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