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Old 24-08-2014, 04:52 PM   #1
Kathryn_Anna
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Flash backs

I don't post in here often, but have been struggling a bit lately with flash backs. It's been about 10 years since the event happened and I've been able to control (not sure this is the word I'm looking for?) my flash backs to an extent until recently. I've been in the middle of moving this past week and I know life in general has been stressful for the last month or two. I just can't seem to get the flash back out of my head. I keep replaying it. I have blacked out the very end and I wish I could remember what happened. After all this time I thought I'd remember it or at least be okay with not knowing.

Well I did some Googling. Bad, I know. Well I found the guy from my flash back. All I'd have to do is pm him. I can't decide whether that is a good idea or not. I don't want to bring up the past and hurt him but at the same time it would be nice to kind of close this door of my past.



Sometimes when I say "I'm okay," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not."

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Old 25-08-2014, 01:14 AM   #2
talaiporia
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Hi there. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much. Do you if anything in particular has triggered it, or 'just' the increased stress placing more pressure on you?

I think it would be a bad idea to PM him.



It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


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Old 25-08-2014, 02:56 AM   #3
Kathryn_Anna
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Thanks Soph. I don't know what has triggered it. I just think increased stressed has me thinking about it. It wasn't a particular pleasant experience and I can't remember what happened and that bothers me.

As much as I'd love to pm him I don't think I can bring myself to do so. I don't know if I can handle what may come from it. Our friendship didn't end on the best note :/



Sometimes when I say "I'm okay," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not."

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Old 25-08-2014, 03:49 AM   #4
crazykat
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Not sure if you have seen this thread but it has some good tips on how to deal with flashbacks. I also agree that it would be a bad idea to PM him



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 25-08-2014, 05:03 AM   #5
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Thanks Kat. I have looked at that before but sometimes it just doesn't help. :(



Sometimes when I say "I'm okay," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not."

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Old 25-08-2014, 10:41 PM   #6
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I hope that once things in your life are less up in the air the flashbacks ease somewhat. I think it's worth remembering that your brain has blacked out certain memories as a protective mechanism. I struggle with memory loss too, and for years I thought that remembering would be helpful, or at least part of the solution. In fact, remembering can often just lead to more questions and uncertainty, not to mention a whole load of emotions you may find intolerable right now. Similarly, I think pming this person may lead you to actually dissociate and make the present feel even more unsafe. I can sympathise but please be patient with yourself and your memories.

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Old 26-08-2014, 02:32 AM   #7
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You make some great points Epicene. Thank you.

It's like watching a long movie over and over but always missing the last 10 minutes of the movie. Every time. I'm so tired of it. Tonight I just feel so, so... I don't care what happens, or how I feel afterwards I just want to know what happened. Ugh. My head hurts!



Sometimes when I say "I'm okay," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not."

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Old 27-08-2014, 03:00 AM   #8
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Do you think it would help to write down these things, to help process them, get them out of your head?



It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


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Old 28-08-2014, 01:00 AM   #9
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Thanks Soph. I have written it down two or three different times. And it never seems to help. :/



Sometimes when I say "I'm okay," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not."

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Old 28-08-2014, 02:25 AM   #10
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Does anything trigger them in particular?



It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


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Old 28-08-2014, 04:34 PM   #11
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I don't think so? It usually happens when I get really stressed out. It's like all the little things just pile up and before I know it I'm having them again. I did notice this time though that maybe the 2 weeks before the flashbacks started I was having really vivid and weird dreams almost nightly. I wouldn't call them nightmares per say but they weren't happy dreams either, if that makes sense.



Sometimes when I say "I'm okay," I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say "I know you're not."

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Old 30-08-2014, 02:18 AM   #12
talaiporia
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Does anything help you relax when you're feeling stressed? It could be worth having a wind-down routine at night, like breathing exercises - there are some on YouTube - that might be helpful.

It does make sense, about the dreams.



It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


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