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Old 25-10-2019, 01:58 PM   #121
one_step_closer
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I'd hope your sister's treatment team will have made the decision to stop ECT for a good reason and that they will keep an eye on things. She could have more sessions if it was felt she needed more in the future. Is your sister worried about the ECT finishing?

About eating less, can you ask to talk things through with someone but mention the importance of listening to you and not getting onto you/arguing? It sounds like you want to talk about it and that it's important that you are understood, but other people will of course have their own opinions. Do you trust other people?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 25-10-2019, 02:36 PM   #122
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It's a few things, she's had the maximum sessions her veins can tolerate and her epilepsy meds have been increased. N feels ok about it. Mum got her an alpha stim machine which is meant to be really effective. It sends waves into the brain.

To be honest I don't trust people. My parents are happily overweight themselves so what do they know? My sister is very underweight and has terrible body image.



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Old 25-10-2019, 02:57 PM   #123
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I hope everything goes ok for your sister, I know it must be hard not to worry. Do you talk through your worries with your sister or anyone else?

Are there people out with your family who you would feel ok talking about body issues with?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 25-10-2019, 07:34 PM   #124
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I feel... I don't know how I feel. Not anxious or depressed. Vulnerable and guilty? I don't want to SH because it wont help and I will feel guilty and I wont be able to keep it secret. I've tried eating less today and physically I feel weak and tired. I'm such a wuss!



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Old 25-10-2019, 08:29 PM   #125
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I'm really tempted to purge. Please can you give me reasons not to?



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Old 25-10-2019, 11:11 PM   #126
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Because eating is hard and purging only means more eating that needs to be done to compensate.

Because it's so incredibly bad for your body.

Because it can be addictive and ain't nobody got time for that.

Because it hurts.

Because you deserve for your life to be more than a vomity mess.



We’ll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.


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Old 26-10-2019, 10:13 AM   #127
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Thank you. I will copy those out for future reference. I didn't make myself sick.



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Old 26-10-2019, 06:41 PM   #128
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This morning I walked to Mass by myself. My head went mental telling me to jump. I got it to ease off by pointing out to them that I would probably just end up disabled. The longer the voices talked, the more sensible it seemed.



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Old 27-10-2019, 05:07 PM   #129
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Yesterday has unnerved me. Part of me wants to try something but I would feel so guilty if I failed. I am doing so well, where are these thoughts coming from?



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Old 27-10-2019, 06:40 PM   #130
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You are doing so well, unfortunately thoughts etc can come up at any time but you are doing amazingly with fighting them and I think that is the main thing to focus on. Please keep fighting and hopefully things will settle down again soon.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 27-10-2019, 07:49 PM   #131
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Thanks osc.

I think I'm going to stay away from other people's support threads for a few days, they are too often triggering. Please don't hate me!



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Old 28-10-2019, 01:18 PM   #132
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That sounds like a good idea and I don't think anyone would hate you for doing that. It's not nice to be triggered and of course you should try and avoid it as much as possible. It's more than ok to do what is right for you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 29-10-2019, 10:28 AM   #133
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I had a load of dreams about escaping from hospital. I'm not even in hospital! Now I feel all uneasy.



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Old 29-10-2019, 01:03 PM   #134
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I can relate to that, I have hospital dreams most nights and it's really awful. I hope you can settle and remind yourself it was just a dream. Will you be doing anything nice today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 29-10-2019, 01:10 PM   #135
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I'm going to go for a walk with my sister and a friend is coming for coffee later. I went to church this morning.



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Old 29-10-2019, 04:11 PM   #136
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That sounds good. How are you feeling now?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 29-10-2019, 05:02 PM   #137
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A bit anxious, as normal. But my SH thoughts have gone from this morning. My friend came round for a quick coffee which normally stresses me out but it was ok today.



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Old 29-10-2019, 05:04 PM   #138
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It's a shame that you feel anxious a lot, are there no techniques that help reduce the intensity for you? Have you ever had any therapy specifically to tackle your anxiety?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 29-10-2019, 05:14 PM   #139
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I never had therapy specifically for the anxiety. My CPN says it's a symptom of my schizophrenia. I got myself a book of coping with and decreasing anxiety and some of it is helpful. It controls the anxiety but doesn't decrease or get rid of it. Lorazepam helps but I try not to use it too often.



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Old 29-10-2019, 07:03 PM   #140
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Sometimes a bit of control is all we can have over some things, but you can increase that control I'm sure with practice. It's good that you're being proactive.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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