When I was in the seventh grade a boy who had made fun of me
The following content has been hidden - Reason : possibly Graphic
grabbed me by the throat and ground his penis into my hip and called me "Faggot" and "Retard" and "Stupid."
I tried to hit him with my elbow because I could not breathe well and did not like what he was doing. He just laughed at me. We were in class at the time and the substitute was just listening to her CD player and the other students were either laughing along or ignoring what was happening. At some point I left my body and it got foggy and I don't know what he did during that time and that makes me scared.
Because other things similar to this have happened to me that I will not go into and because I am gay, both of these things I have not told to anyone before, I am ashamed.
Sorry if this is not really graphic or contains sexual abuse. I just did not want to break any of the rules.
I am uncertain as to what to call what happened to me. I looked at the mini encyclopedia thread in this forum, but still don't know what to call it. Sorry if this doesn't belong in this forum.
-Drake
Last edited by Drake : 11-12-2010 at 03:06 PM.
Reason: spelling; forgot to add what uncertain about
"I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul."
-Invictus
William Ernest Henley
If you're foggy about what happened, it sounds like he might have sexually abused you. Also, so ironic when "straight" boys do something sexually to another boy and call them a faggot isn't it? Whether you are gay or not it's ironic.
Anyway, what he did was def sexual bullying even if it wasn't sexual abuse. So that pressing up against you and calling names would probably be called sexual bullying. And whether you like boys are not it doesn't make what he did okay. Consent is what matters. Also, you're allowed to tell anything else that's happened to you or if people hurt you. Don't be ashamed honey, being abused is never the victim's fault, and we're willing to listen. *hugs if that's ok*
Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010
I just have been having a rough time after sharing this. I keep crying and feeling like I'm losing it.
I just feel awful because the things that happened to me...I wasn't raped...so it is not as bad as what other people have gone through and I feel like I'm taking up valuable posting space for people who have had much worse things done to them.
-Drake
Last edited by Drake : 12-12-2010 at 04:48 AM.
Reason: added information
"I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul."
-Invictus
William Ernest Henley
Don't ever compare your pain to others. Just because others have experienced worse doesn't mean that what you experienced wasn't painful. *hugs gently* It's okay honey, it will get better.
Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010
That's exactly right: just because it wasn't worse doesn't mean it isn't damaging. I haven't gone through the same thing as you exactly, but there was an incident recently I'd rather not discuss that could arguably be a lot less cruel/harsh/damaging than what you experienced but it still hurt me and made me feel violated and rather worthless. But you are none of those things, I promise.
It wasn't your fault, not at all, and that boy was just being terrible to you. He wanted to get a reaction out of you and make his friends laugh, and that's awful. Try not to let it get to you, okay? I know it's very hard, but he really isn't worth even thinking of. Keep hanging on.
Is there someone in your life that you would feel comfortable telling this to? A parent, or sibling, or friend? Do you still have to deal with that boy? Maybe a teacher or principal could do something for you, though I know it would be very scary to tell anyone. But it would help, even if the person you choose can't do anything to make the boy go away. It's probably one of the scariest things in the world to tell another person about something like this, and at the time it might seem like it won't help at all, but in the end it really does make you feel better.
I'm sorry something bad happened to you. *hugs if okay*
I do not have to deal with him anymore since I am no longer in school, but I haven't been able to tell this and other stuff to anyone until I posted it here. I did tell my parents and a principal in high school about some harassment, but I did not go into much detail with them. Thankfully they were supportive and helped stop it.
-Drake
"I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul."
-Invictus
William Ernest Henley
*Gentle hugs* I'm sorry you experienced that. I agree with what other people have said, his behaviour was still wrong and damaging even if it wasn't rape. If you broke your arm then someone said well it could be worse you could have broken your back, it won't make your arm hurt less. Knowing it could have been worse doesn't make what happened any better.
I often feel like I'm wasting peoples time when I talk about what I experienced because it's not as bad as other people's experiences so I can understand why you feel that way. But you are perfectly justified to talk about what happened.
I'm glad your parents and the Principal were supportive of you and helped to stop the bullying/abuse. It must have taken a lot of courage to talk to them about what had been happening, it shows bravery.
I just wanted to agree with everyone else in that any act of violent/aggressive behaviour can be damaging, no matter the situation. Thinking of you xxx
'I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, in whom I take refuge, my sheild and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.'
Psalm 18:1-2