Does this count?

[alltheordinarypeople]

I'm going to include an attachment here, since what I have to say is very long. It was originally something I had written just so I could get it off my chest. It is written as if I was addressing my sister about what we went through, and talks about my douchiness towards her as a kid.

If you don't want to read the link, the gist is when I was younger my father used to back hand us for doing things he didn't like. We were well behaved kids, so we mostly got hit for being sassy or talking back. We also get pushed around sometimes. I don't remember any serious injuries, or even bruises although I know my sister got bruises. The worst I received was a split lip from being smacked on the mouth. These happened a lot, though never in front of my mother or other siblings in some cases. He can be very cruel, but he can sometimes be a very caring father.

I need to know if this counts as abuse. Just for validation purposes I guess. Sometimes I feel so selfish obsessing over my childhood when others had it much worse

[Miss Reena]

I just want to quickly say that many fathers grow up with that being an acceptable form of punishment. Quick pain was usually viewed as better than a long list of chores. If your mother didn't condone of it though, perhaps it was a bit too harsh. My brother got slapped a lot as a teenager because he might get suspended or fired for doing the same things at school or work, so your father probably had your best interests in his mind, at least (I say probably because I don't know the full situation).

Whatever the conclusion is, don't feel selfish! Just because one thing is worse doesn't mean everything else isn't bad. I can only suggest reconciling with your father and just asking him why he does those things - and add that you'll try your best to understand. No one is flawless and he might very well have regrets.

Best of luck whatever you do :)