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Old 20-04-2009, 09:34 PM   #41
Schleier von Dunst
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Thanks for the welcomes people

It's quite hard to explain, because its so long winded and complicated and when I told my psych part of it, the old one said "Might the voices be your next door neighbour?" (I live in a detached house) and the new one said "It's like a story, isn't it, are these words, the names, are they made up words, or out of a book you've read, or something?" So now I struggle to say what it's like without being scared of being laughed at




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Old 20-04-2009, 09:45 PM   #42
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i'm sorry to hear that Sarah. you deserve to be taken seriously. stick to the truth - which is what you believe, how you experience things. begin by validating your own feelings. i hope that they will get the message and understand soon. please don't take it too personally; i've had experiences like that too.

i think that a lot of what we experience sometimes is influenced by things we've seen in our life; whether that's books, TV, political things, things that people have told us earlier in life. i know it is for me - like my voices sometimes say a lot of things about Hell and Dante's Inferno (which is a real piece of writing by an Italian poet). it doesn't make it not psychosis, if that makes any sense. xxx

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Old 20-04-2009, 10:21 PM   #43
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Hey everyone. It's been an odd day for me. I've felt kind of like I'm in an alternate reality and watching everyone or something all day, I've been kind of trapped inside my own head and... I dunno it's been odd. There are also now two more voices/ people which is not what I need!!! One is a 3 year old girl called Lola and She's lovely. The other is The Man and turns out He is the one who has been watching me all these years. Earlier I was sitting outside and even the flies were telling me to die. It's gonna be a long night. Anouk has been screaming at me as well. Sigh.

Michelle - Thank you, it was nice to have Anais last night. Hope you're doing ok today.

Ami - That's a lot of different meds! How do you find citalopram with side effects?

Waiting in the Dark - Yeah it's comforting having Anais around. She doesn't stop me from doing harmful things but She kind of supports me and explains things to me. Urgh that's a long wait for the meds to work. Have they actually "annihilated" (my psych's favourite word lol) your voices? Glad you're more relaxed after being having a break. How do you feel about going back to college?

Polly - I completely know what you mean. Sometimes when I'm more in reality I doubt everything I've experienced. I guess the depression doesn't help in it's whole self-doubting thing. At the end of the day though, I wouldn't and couldn't make this up, and I wouldn't be so terrified if I knew deep down that it was actually me. I don't know, it's confusing.

Sarah - Hey welcome! I'd love to hear your story some time if you feel like it I've certainly written more than my fair share on here! I think I saw your post on the psychosis/ schizophrenia thread about neighbours' voices. Psychs and the like are such idiots sometimes. Are you getting better help now?

Trina - Sorry to hear it's been hard today. Do any of your teachers know what you're going through? I hope you manage to get some sleep.

Laura - Glad you're getting the help you need now. It's so frustrating that it takes so long. If I could have got help a few years back then it wouldn't have got so tangled and complicated in my head. Ah well, can't complain now I guess. I agree with you about things influencing the psychosis. I can see elements of my life or things I've read/ seen/ etc in parts of my psychosis, which fuels my doubts if you see what I mean.

Sorry really long again, I can't seem to rein it in and bloody OCD makes it a lengthy task lol.

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Old 20-04-2009, 10:27 PM   #44
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Polly - It is possible to be psychotic without experiencing auditory hallucinations, although they are the most common type. Even if you don't hear voices, it is possible that the thoughts are delusional in nature and that's why you were told you were psychotic? But no, you're not the only one. I do sometimes wonder to myself that I might be making it all up.

Trina - I'm sorry everything is so bad you feel unable to do your work Have you got any peace yet? I'm actually having a pretty good day today thanks, two days straight with no symptoms.

Sarah - that must be frustrating not being taken seriously. You shouldn't have to fear being laughed at by a professional. Also very much in agreement with Laura in that being influenced by things we've seen and heard doesn't make it not psychosis. I should imagine (although I don't know) that's it's just as common as the voices and visions being entirely random.




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Old 20-04-2009, 10:34 PM   #45
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Please tell me to piss off as I don't have psychosis. I suffer from pseudo-hallucinations and they scare the **** out of me at times. I suppose I just want to say I can't imagine what it is like having full blown psychosis and hope you guys can get the support you need from this thread.



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Old 20-04-2009, 10:35 PM   #46
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Welcome back Banana89 :) - Is it normal for you to have two extra voices appear in one day or is this alot worse than normal for you? Is it something you'll be needing to mention to your doctor or are you going to see how the meds work out first? I think I remember reading on page one that you've only been on Anti-psychotics a few days so far. Sorry you've been having a stressful day *gentle hug*

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Old 20-04-2009, 10:59 PM   #47
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Thanks Michelle *Hugs back* It's hard to say what's normal to be honest. I first remember hearing voices when I was about 4 and they've been there my whole life, but in the last few months I have deteriorated a LOT. Before I heard voices and could occasionally talk to them, now I see and talk to people. So the extra people isn't really that odd at this particular "episode" but in general I guess it's odd. I'm seeing the consultant of the MHS with my psych on Friday so I'll mention it then. Yeah you're right, I've only been on APs for about a week now so I need to give it more time. I just feel like it's getting worse which is frustrating. How has your day been? Glad you've had no symptoms the last couple of days - hope it continues!!

No Reason welcome I absolutely refuse to tell you to piss off! No rules here on who's allowed. What's the difference between pseudo hallucinations and psychosis?

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Old 20-04-2009, 11:06 PM   #48
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No reason - it's the individual symptoms that cause all the hassle and pain, not a label or diagnosis. I myself don't have a formal diagnosis, and I'm sure someone else on page one said the same. Please, if there's anything that's worrying you, bring it up :) You're more than welcome.

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Old 20-04-2009, 11:06 PM   #49
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Apparently, the difference is that I know that what I hear and see can't actually be real despite how real they seem. Still blummin difficult to deal with though.



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Old 20-04-2009, 11:17 PM   #50
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I've been diagnosed with psychosis but I still have a nagging feeling that it's not real - even though it is - but it isn't - but it is... Point being however you view it, it's still f**king scary. How long have you had them?

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Old 20-04-2009, 11:22 PM   #51
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I've had it for quite some time and then a new one joined over last summer. i suppose I have had the other for a number of years but it has worsened. It is scary but I just need to remind myself that they aren't real. It is a symptom of bpd apparently. Feel like a fraud posting here - sorry!

I haven't bothered telling them re the man in my house. My housemate says I should but he is real so they need not know.


Last edited by ThinkingofRecovery : 20-04-2009 at 11:24 PM. Reason: Added stuff


"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13

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Old 20-04-2009, 11:36 PM   #52
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Not at all a fraud!! To be honest I feel like I'm a fake too but then it's all so real. I'm so confused by myself. Yeah it is really scary. I keep trying to tell myself and Them that it's not real but I just can't quite believe it. Every time my mum tries to ground me in reality all I can hear is Anouk screaming that it's all lies. Felt like I haven't been in the real world today. What does the man in your house do/ say? Maybe a good idea to tell them? I'm gonna have to tell the consultant and psych on Friday about how I process the chemical Argon and about Lola and The Man and everything... Urgh I'm not looking forward to seeing the look on their faces and having them say "Remember, although it's real to you - it isn't actually real" with that pitying look!!!

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Old 20-04-2009, 11:44 PM   #53
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I don't tell them about the man because he is real whereas I know the other peeps that I hear can't actually be real.

Sorry it sounds very difficult for you!



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Old 20-04-2009, 11:56 PM   #54
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It's just very confusing. And my APs just seem to be blurring everything even more. Urgh.

Maybe the man is psychosis then? What does your house mate think about him?

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Old 21-04-2009, 12:12 AM   #55
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man is real so can't be psychosis. He scares me at times but try to ignore him. I don't think he wants to hurt me



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Old 21-04-2009, 12:42 AM   #56
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I'm glad he doesn't seem dangerous. That's good news. Do you talk to him or is he just there?

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Old 21-04-2009, 12:43 AM   #57
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He is there and I try to ignore him. I am trying to get used to him. Ignore what he says.



"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13

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Old 21-04-2009, 12:53 AM   #58
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That's really good, well done. Wish I could do that! I'm off to watch a film now, but it's been good chatting to you. Hope you have an ok night xxx

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Old 21-04-2009, 07:50 AM   #59
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hi to everyone new who's posted :) sorry to hear about your experiences. i don't have time for long replies but i wanted to say hi

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Old 21-04-2009, 09:04 AM   #60
Schleier von Dunst
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whirlpools View Post
i'm sorry to hear that Sarah. you deserve to be taken seriously. stick to the truth - which is what you believe, how you experience things. begin by validating your own feelings. i hope that they will get the message and understand soon. please don't take it too personally; i've had experiences like that too.

i think that a lot of what we experience sometimes is influenced by things we've seen in our life; whether that's books, TV, political things, things that people have told us earlier in life. i know it is for me - like my voices sometimes say a lot of things about Hell and Dante's Inferno (which is a real piece of writing by an Italian poet). it doesn't make it not psychosis, if that makes any sense. xxx
The thing is, the words and names and languages that we use aren't from anywhere in particular, it's just that I know that's what they are. I know what race my Voices are, which planet they come from, and I can't explain how I know... I just do... so I read a lot of fantasy, but they have never ever come from there... I just don't think my psych understands...

Quote:
Originally Posted by banana89 View Post

Sarah - Hey welcome! I'd love to hear your story some time if you feel like it I've certainly written more than my fair share on here! I think I saw your post on the psychosis/ schizophrenia thread about neighbours' voices. Psychs and the like are such idiots sometimes. Are you getting better help now?
Yeah, I did post in there... I hated my old psych, he was horrible and barely spoke English... I have a new one now, and he's really easy to talk to but I'm not so sure he understands me...




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