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Old 13-01-2019, 02:12 PM   #1
LRgrad15
 
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Accidentally giving off the wrong impression

Anyone else have the problem of accidentally giving off the wrong impression? I seem to have this problem and don't know how to rectify it. For example, when I was in college, I would express so much happiness about being there due to my disliking of living at home with my parents. I hate living at home and hated it when the school year came to a end. Graduating was extremely tough for me since that meant moving back home.

Unfortunately, somehow this backfired because people just simply assumed I was obsessed with the college. A couple people told me they thought I was obsessed with the campus when in fact, I was just overly joyful about being independent. I was not obsessed about the particular college at all. In fact, if I could do it all over again, I would probably pick somewhere that has a little more stuff to do and a school that is a bit bigger.

I had to reassure them that I was not obsessed with the campus or anything like that. Also one person asked me in private if I had some sort of goal or some real big reason for being so happy to be on campus, or if I had some kind of mission. I said no and just briefly stated I just didn't like being home and being on campus was my way of getting away and being independent. I still hate being home but I wouldn't go back, I want to get an apartment especially when I go to grad school.

Also a couple times when I personally mentioned to someone that I was so happy to be back, a couple other people looked at me like there was something wrong with me or I was "special" or something. Other times when it comes to social situations, I feel like people mistake my shyness or anxiety about taking the initiative first for me not wanting to talk to anyone or appearing off and just different.

As I probably mentioned before in other threads, I feel like I bother people when I take the initiative to talk to others so I just keep to myself and if someone really does want to talk to me, I'm there ready to talk. Feel like it is safer that way. But I get the sense that I give off the wrong impression that I don't want to talk to anyone even though I still appear upbeat and just overall ready to meet someone, rather than awkwardly standing in a corner with my arms crossed.

From what I hear, just standing and watching from a corner during a social event can easily come off as unintentionally creepy so I make sure I don't do that. I will admit even I've been on the receiving end of that kind of situation. I may be eating or something alone, or in the rare chance, maybe even talking to someone when I realize that someone is just staring at everyone from a distance, and not looking happy about it. From that point of view, I can see how it could come off as different or creepy to certain people so I know not to do that.

I just worry that I give off the wrong impression about stuff which makes people think there is something wrong with me. I do have a slight paralysis on my face and also am hearing impaired so I don't know if those are contributing factors to people assuming that I am different or something. Same goes for my excitement towards things, anything to be honest. People share their excitements all the time and no one thinks twice about it, but when I do it, it is as if there is something wrong.

Just not sure what I could be doing. Also it is the same way, if I share something that is bothering me, people act like I'm just about to fall apart even if I am perfectly fine. Like a couple people thought I was going to off myself after graduating, which is something I would never do. And I have no reason to do that after graduating. Everyone goes through it, not just me. But apparently to some others, I came off as extremely depressed about it. Just don't know why people get the wrong impression. Is there a way to rectify this? Anyone else have this issue?

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Old 13-01-2019, 09:02 PM   #2
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I’m gonna ask something that you don’t have to answer at all if you don’t want to. And I apologise if it offends. But given that pretty much every single one of your threads is based on interactions with other people, are you autistic? It’s just that from what I’ve read it seems like you struggle with social cues. I’m also wondering if your reactions are not appropriate for some of the social situations you have described which is why people seem off with you.

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Old 13-01-2019, 11:31 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Iamcatbug View Post
Iím gonna ask something that you donít have to answer at all if you donít want to. And I apologise if it offends. But given that pretty much every single one of your threads is based on interactions with other people, are you autistic? Itís just that from what Iíve read it seems like you struggle with social cues. Iím also wondering if your reactions are not appropriate for some of the social situations you have described which is why people seem off with you.
No I am not autistic. The reason I may come off that way is because I once attended a hearing impaired school that didn't teach how to properly read and use social cues. I have gotten better at it. Like, if I am with someone and I can tell they no longer want me around or if they are annoyed with me, I can tell. In fact, I know some people who take longer to realize someone is annoyed or something else is wrong than it takes me. But in other cases like I described in this thread, it is harder for me to understand why people are the way they are towards me. Also as I mentioned in this thread, I used to be extremely naive. That is my fault, that probably is part of the problem. But I still feel like there is something else other than just me being naive at one point. I am not as naive as I used to be.

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Old 14-01-2019, 01:49 AM   #4
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Thanks for clarifying. I’m wondering if the issue maybe stems from your intonation when you are speaking. As different stresses on different words can change the tone of a conversation entirely.

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Old 14-01-2019, 11:47 AM   #5
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Thanks for clarifying. Iím wondering if the issue maybe stems from your intonation when you are speaking. As different stresses on different words can change the tone of a conversation entirely.
Yeah possible since that can happen.

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