Sorting it out.
I need to sort myself out. 11 years this crap has been going on. I was 20 when the madness started. I'm 31 now. It needs. to. stop. I have been sectioned multiple times, hurt myself to the point of surgery and admissions for IV antibiotics. It needs to stop. Now. The schizoaffective crap will probably always be there, but the behaviour. My goodness. That needs to go away.
I've been working 16 hours a week for not far off six years. It needs to improve. I need to improve. I've got potential. Everyone tells me that. I don't always believe it, but there is at least a bit of intelligence there. I need to challenge myself before my brain starts to atrophy. It feels like groundhog day. Work, stay in bed, self-harm, appointments, hospital, medication etc. I'm grateful for all of the support I've received, as it has most definitely saved my life, but my goodness am I frustrated that there's been NO PROGRESS.
I've applied for a couple of jobs. I'm not going to rush into anything, as I'm comfortable how I am with regards to finances, accommodation, job, support network etc. I can choose to be picky when it comes to positions and hours and location. I don't HAVE to move jobs. I just want to. I need something new.
I need to shower every day, wash my clothes, keep the flat tidy etc. I do, but not to the standard that I should. It's OK though. Tomorrow is a new day.
Any advice on moving forward? How did you make progress?