i feel so dirty, disgusting and repulsive, i can still feel her all over me, have to make her go. *curls up tight* my fault cause i was stupid beleiving her.
its been a really shitty week ive been hurt so much. i just shut myself off from everyone one, wouldnt see, talk or anything. im poison, bad evil poison and thought everyone would be better off if i wasnt around.
im hurting badly and really scared.
im sorry i shut myself off so sorry.
if im not poison, evil and bad why do they keep saying i am over and over again. why do i have to keep getting punished if im not. im so confused.
this last week i have been hurt 4 times because they said id done wrong and needed to be punished.
You don't need to die sweetie. I feel people contemplate suicide when their pain surpasses their coping mechanisms to deal with the pain. So working on reducing the pain, or increasing your coping mechanisms would be of help I feel. Is there anyway you can tell your CPN how much your struggling? Maybe showing her parts of this thread might be useful?
Hi Jo, I know we haven't spoken in a while and that's my fault. But I wanted to let you know that I am always here for you sweetie. I love you and you aren't alone. You can do this <3 *hugs safely*
