Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Most recent time. *graphic*
I live with my dad, his friend and his wife/kids live with us. I've known then all since I was little. Bob is his friends name. He rapes me a lot. I'm pregnant, and he threatens to kill the baby and he holdes knives to my sstomach so no one will hear.
I have to get this out. I'm sorry if its too graphic.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : *extremely sexually/physically graphic* - please dont read if you are in a vulnerable place
Door shut. Wall behind me. Pressure. Before anything happens, he tells me that he'll kill the baby if I make a sound. He slides my shirt up and my bra. Sucks on my breasts. Belt off. Unzip. I hold my breath. Up for a kiss. Hands gentle on my cheeks. Push. Knees on carpet. Jeans drop to the floor. Close your eyes. I try to shut down my brain as I suck his c*ck. "Oh yeah, be a good girl." Gagging. Pull out. I stand. He wipes my mouth. He smirk. I know that look. "no. please. no." F*ck. Hands up my shirt, squeezing my breasts. It hurts. More pressure. His erection against my crotch. Pease kill me. Unbutton, unzip. Drop. Shove. He pushes me over the end of the bed, bends over me, leaning on my back.
He wraps his arms around me, one hand over my mouth- the other in a fist on my stomach. Sweat covers me. Eyes closed tight. He spreads my legs with his feet. Gently slides his d*ck inside my vagina. Leans over and softly says "Be good now." He pulls his hips back and yankes my hair, using all his force to pound himself into me. I want to scream. I don't. I never do. "Oh F*ck yes. yes, yes. F*ck. F*ck. F*ck. oh god. oh. god. uhhh. oh yeah, i love you. you make me feel so good. you love this big di*k, i **** you so good. so hard. yeah im gonna F*ck you even harder." So much pain. My scalp burns from my hair pulling. I feel myself ripping apart. He drools on my back. "Good girl, Oh yeah you love my d*ck." Pounding. Harder. Pain. So much pain.
He pulls out and spins me around. He pushes me backwards and pushes my knees up. He leans over me, propping himself up by his hands on either side of me. SLAM! He's back inside me. Pumping hard. He keeps drooling on me. Eyes still closed. Counting, counting, counting. Pick a song (this is me attempting to dissociate) "Oh F*ck yeah." Block it out. Block it out. Not real. This is not real. "Oh i **** you so good. And you love it". Thrust, pump, push "Oh god. yeah. yeah. almost there" What is that song? F*ck! What is it? Think! "yeah yeah you're such a good girl" What is that damn song? Oh I remember now! Count the syllables of the song. One-two-three-four-five. He reaches up and grabs my throat. "Look at me." Squeeze your eyes shut. Hold them shut. "Open your eyes and look at me." I can't breathe. sh*t. Six-seven-eight-nine. Oh I can't F*cking breathe! I open my eyes. He stares into my eyes. "Oh god im gonna cum. oh. F*ck. oh. F*ck. yeah. yeah. im gonna cum. his big di*k is gonna cum in your wet p*ssy. you like that? yeah? of course you do, you sl*t" He stares. I know better than to look away now. He pumps so hard into me. I cant even feel my body anymore. "Tell me you love my big di*k. tell me you love the way i **** you so hard. beg me to F*ck you til i cum in your wet p*ssy."
He keeps staring. It terrifies me. He's waiting for me. I open my mouth.... "I love you. i love your big di*k." Cringe. tears. "I love the way you F*ck me so hard." Oh please let me die right now "Please F*ck me til you cum in my p*ssy." I am dying.
"Beg" he says. He's so cruel.
"Please. Please cum inside me."
"BEG!!" slap.
"Oh please. please. i want you to cum inside me so badly". another punch.
He throw his head back and I feel warm liquid fill up inside me. Its over. I am dead inside.
He gets dressed. He leaves.
Last edited by typsee : 22-02-2009 at 01:15 AM.
Reason: edited
I don't know what to say... could you tell someone? or get a lock on your door so that he can't get in?
he really should not be doing this, and I'm sure you know this... even he obviously knows that he shouldn't be doing it as he's going though such lengths and awful threats to keep you quiet...
why not go somewhere safe ...till you have the baby or *feels ashamed to suggest it* or threaten to get an abbortion or tell you did...if your not that far along to where your not showing yet
why not go somewhere safe ...till you have the baby or *feels ashamed to suggest it* or threaten to get an abbortion or tell you did...if your not that far along to where your not showing yet
Its not his baby. Its a baby from a previous rape by someone else.
I'm way to far along to even threaten abortion, I'm almost 5 months, and I've got a nice belly to show for it. Everyone knows I'm pregnant, it'd be impossible not to.
Sweetie you really need to get out of there and I know its damn hard but you need to it for you and your baby. I am so so sorry you are having to go through this. If you need anything feel free to pm me
Take care of yourself sweetie
xx
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
Hun, what's happening to you is not right!
He's doing something utterly wrong!
Can't you get out of there?
Even if it's into another city.
I'm not too sure where Maine is *I'm stupid lol*
I'm really worried about you.
xx I'm always a PM away if you want to talk
Can you call anyone you know, let them know whats going on and arrange a way to get out and either move away for a bit or go to the police. Even if it means travelling, anything must be better than this.
*hugs*
L_M_G is my mummy :) inkerman and razorbladedarling are my two non-identical twin sprogs (concieved on same day) Scabette< cos she has the cutest puppy dog eyes and i cant resist!feeling-afraid< my bottle of glitter!! which i just have to have :Pmidnight stars< my gorgeous sister, whom i love to bits ;) Dance With The Fairy< *star*gazing*buddie :] Broken-Fairy is my partner in crime ;) little_miss is my real life saviour PaperClip is my stationary queen
Juliette - Your post makes me feel very sad, not just because of what you've endured at the hands of your father's friend, but also knowing that you are still living in the same house as this man!
You really need to tell someone that you trust about what Bob is doing to you - its just not right that you are being treated like this .. and in your own home!
What is your relationship like with your father? - would you be able to talk to him and tell him what his so called "friend" is doing to you?
Not only do you have your own life to think about here, but also the life of your unborn baby ... and you just DONT have to live with this!
What is stopping you from telling someone about this?
I know this may seem extreme... but I found this http://www.sboard.org/SHELTERS/ME.HTM and http://www.caring-unlimited.org/
I know wwhat's happening to you isn't technically "domestic violence" but you are being abused by a man who you live with and so I feel it is close enough, and I'm sure that they would not turn you away anyway
though obviously if you can speak to someone would be better, but if you can't then you REALLY need to get out of there... as has been said you need to think of your baby as well as yourself
do you know you're the only one he does this too? are you worried about the children living in the house? report him to the police, get him stopped. mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
I live in Maine, but in the central-westernish region.
If I had a car, I would just drive up there and get you and just take you somewhere safe, because that is absolutely not right, in any way, shape, or form, and needs to stop now.
*sighs*
I'm so worried about you.
freedom is like religion to us
justice is juxtaposition in us...
we sing,
our music is the cuts
that we bleed through...
-common-
thats awful! how do people have the lack of integrity and respect to do that? he needs to go to jail and stay there for the rst of his life. its not right. im really sorry that is happening. talk to sombody you trust? that man has to be stoped. both for you and youre baby.
