Why are you scared to go to A and E? It sounds like you're really unsafe at the moment, A and E might be a good idea.
Why could out of hours not help you?
Im terrified of A and E I wouldnt be able to sit still!I called out of hours gp she offered to send someone round Im such a FAT C**T I refused in case mum was back I didnt want her to know.Still feel unsafe but have slept loads so I hope needing to work helps.How are you?Im such a FAT waste of spacexx
You're not fat!
And I'm glad you made the first step to call the out-of-hours GP. I would say that if you feel that unsafe again, it might be worth letting them send someone round anyway; maybe it's best that your mum knows how low you are at the moment?
How are you this morning?
Thanks so much for your replies hun I dont deserve the support.Got my results back today I passed surprisingly.Still so low desperate to restrict more Im just so FAT.I need the flashbacks to stop.I feel so dirty all the time.The thoughts in my head scare me.I hope you are ok hunxx
*hugs* Please, be careful. It sounds like your ED is wildly out of control at the moment. Can you tell someone about it? Try to be careful, and make sure you're getting enough fluids.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Thanks hun.It is all a bit crazy out of control but Im too scared to stop it.I dont want to seem attention seeking either.I am so FAT and disgusting.I dont really know what to do I am restricting more and more although because mums been around I had more today which I HATE myself for.I have so much work and no energuy to do it.How are you doing?xx
FAT FAT FAT stupid C**T!I saw my gp and couldnt get my words out.Everyone thinks Im ok and Im just attention seeking I feel like Im drowning Im sorry so FAT and disgustingxx
Thanks for your kind words I dont deserve this kindness.I deserve to be punished for NOT restricting enough.I will never get this work done either all I do is cry.Im so FAT and thick I dont even understand.I just cant see a way out.xx
*hugs* You deserve kindness, and don't deserve to be punished. Also you're definitely not fat. Why do you think that you are undeserving of help? You are struggling with some massive issues at the moment, and surely people with *issues* deserve support? Even if you were fat, which you are absolutely not, you would still deserve help- I don't think being fat makes anyone any less deserving!
As for the work, can you work out exactly what you have to do, and when each thing is due, then make a plan about doing little chunks of work at a time? Everything together will look like a mountain, and makes you feel you can't do it, but in smaller chunks, things are much more manageable :)
Thanks so much hun.Everything feels too much right now.The urges to restrict further are so strong.Putting off buying diuretics by the skin of my teeth.HATE my FAT body just feel so out of control.Just got in from my placement Im so tired I could cry.NO idea how I will find the energy to make it through tomorrow.Suicidal thoughts are bad too.Pathetic Im sorry.How are you doing?xx
Where is your placement? Is this related to uni?
Also, on the topic of diuretics, do you know how pointless they are? I was a medical student last year, so I kind of know how they work. Apart from making you dehydrated and generally unwell, they do NOTHING. They have no effect on your weight.
I'm doing ok, sort of!
Is there a placement co-ordinator at the Uni who you can talk to about how this girl is treating you?
You do not deserve to be treated badly and it shouldn't be allowed to happen. Do try to let someone know what is going on. It may be that they can help you, or move your placement to be with someone else, who will treat you better.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
I can feel my anorexia gripping my tightewr it makes me feel safer.But what if I let anorexia down?I dont deserve to live.Im seeing my programme leader tomorrow.Im ashamed to say things arte worse I think he thinks Im making it up.I have exams to revise for and exams to do in May aswell as a work based learning essay, presentation and the rest of my hours to complete.Im scared I will FUCK up I hate being so FAT.MY suicidal thoughts are bad too I dont know what to do.Im sorryxx
Does your mum know bad things are? Is there anything anyone could do to help? Please try to make sure that you eat some food; I know it's hard and you feel like you shouldn't, but you need to do it to survive.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I had two soya cappuccinos I deserve to die.I cant cope people think I can but I CANT.Im FAT I dont want to do this.I cant fight.My programme leader thinks I am ok because I seem so together.I HATE myself I dont know what to do Im so sorry?Thanks for your repliesxx
