Felt like cutting for a while now, but am trying to resist the urges
I've felt like cutting for a while now, but am trying to resist the urges, the urges are getting stronger & stronger, I don't know how much longer I can go, I've been thinking about how disappointed I get, but also how disappointed others get, especially my family & my counsellor, so have been thinking about cutting in places they won't see it, not something I'd ever usually think about.
I have clean blades but no first-aid supplies at the moment, I think that's the only thing putting me off, I guess that's a good thing in a way, but not the safest thing as if the urges get too strong I'm gonna be stuck for first aid supplies, I do have anti-bac cream, but no plasters or bandages.
I think maybe tomorrow I should think about re-stocking my first-aid box. I don't know if I should think about travelling further to another Mind centre, that is open more than 1&1/2 days a week, but can I attend a centre that's outside of my area? I'm not sure, anyone else know? I think I need to talk to someone about these increasing urges, before things get out of hand, not as if I can go to the CMHT as my GP refused to refer me back there, and there is nowhere else in my area for mental health
Hi the urges are stronger because nothing else that I usually do to help, is helping, every time I try something I would usually do to try & help it keeps going wrong, leaving me feeling worse than when I started, cutting for me is like a last result when everything else fails, because cutting makes me withdraw, meaning at least it takes away that vulnerability that is caused by being around the wrong people, some of those people would run a mile too if they find out I've cut, because they want to avoid taking the brunt from my family, so almost like cutting is a last protection mechanism, usually talking to my drug & alcohol 1-1, who will speak with my GP, or talking with the co-ordinator at Mind, but with both being in-accessible at the moment, things are just starting to get too much, and there's nowhere else I can turn
Not a stupid question, good thought, but there is no AA or NA meeting near where I live, I have been to one before but it's in a very awkward location if I was to go I'd need to find a lift, as I don't drive. I could look into it again, I didn't really like it much the last time I went, I felt awkward being the youngest person in the building, and things being far too religious for my liking, I'm not a religious person, so all the talk of god & the lord being our saviour, kinda' freaked me out.
There was a local group started last year, but it closed about 3 weeks later, for lack of interest, and lack of a building, but I could ask again & see if there is any likelihood of anything closer or easier to get to