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Old 23-09-2017, 11:37 AM   #52841
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Katie, that sounds like a lot! Will you be able to visit the doctor again soon to mention the heart palpitations? It sounds like a frustrating system over there. I'm sorry you and Jenna have both ended up with colds. *shakes fist at whoever gave Jenna the cold in the first place*

I'm not doing so well tonight. I'm having a battle in my brain, one part arguing that if I could just restrict a little more things would be okay and another part telling me restricting will eventually mess up my studies. Whatever I do, I feel out of control.

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Old 23-09-2017, 03:17 PM   #52842
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Ok so I was exaggerating a bit, I have less than ten billion things to do but it is still a lot. And I feel like I need another sleep already.

I promise the part that says restricting more will mess up your studies is probably right. Would it help to try to think about why exactly you feel like restricting will make things okay? Because although I know how strong that feeling can be - it doesn't always have very good logic behind it.




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Old 23-09-2017, 10:27 PM   #52843
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Katie I hope you manage to get all the things you need to do done. I hope you manage to sort out the palpitations etc soon.

Jill I hope you manage to listen to 'restricting will mess up your studies' side of your brain. I holler what Katie says. Has anything specific triggered this brain argument?

I am all moved into my new house. I did all my packing today haha. I need to get my life into gear and be more organised, energised and motivated to do stuff rather than letting myself sit and be lazy etc. I am though having a Leigh style panic attack thing where I'm like am I dying or is it anxiety?! So I'm going to finish my cup of tea and try and sleep and hope I wake up in the morning. Drs on Monday to hopefully get it all sorted.

How is e veryone else? How's everyone else's weekends being?



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Old 25-09-2017, 08:08 PM   #52844
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Hi everyone, sorry I don't have the energy to read back and comment, but I hope you're all doing ok <3

I've been feeling pretty low the last few days. I have my first shift back in work tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes. I'm a bit worried about having the stamina to work through the day. Then I have a gp appointment on Wednesday ostensibly so they can approve my medication but they'll hopefully also want to know how I've been. Then today the mental heath team got back to me to say I have an assessment on the 6th, so pretty soon really.

ETA that my eating has only been reasonably ok because I've had a few meals with/cooked by my friends. Other than that I'm not doing great. Still haven't been food shopping properly since I moved here on Wednesday, although I've tried a couple of times. I'm hoping that work will help in that respect because then I can pick up food before/afterwards/on my break, rather than having to go out specifically for it.


Last edited by Eska : 25-09-2017 at 08:13 PM.




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Old 26-09-2017, 01:50 PM   #52845
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Katie, how are you feeling? Have you managed to shake off that cold at all? How are you going with all of the things you needed to get done?

Leigh, how is the new house? Who are you living with now? I hope you were able to get past the anxiety. Sending hugs if needed. Did the doctor help at all?

Eska, I'm sorry you've been feeling low and I hope you've been managing to feed yourself enough. How was your first day back at work? How much work will you be doing?

I've been to see the kinesiologist again and it seems to have helped even me out. I asked for help with moods because I was going up and down too much and not finding any middle ground and she unearthed a whole lot of issues that were surrounding it. I still don't know how it works but it seems to help.

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Old 26-09-2017, 10:20 PM   #52846
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Glad the kinesiologist helped Jill. I don't actually know what that is but I'm glad you found it helpful.

Eska, buying food on breaks or before/after work is a good shout. I also hope you start to feel better soon.

The drs were so good. I just told them about my heart but how I think it might be anxiety but they took it seriously and gave me an ECG straight away and I got my letter today to book an appointment with cardiology for a 24hr ECG but the clinic said there were no appointments so left my contact details for them to ring me. My palpitations went high tonight and lasted over an hr. Friend from home told me to go to hosp but it was after it stopped. I just feel knackered now. I think when it happens again I will go to hospital, I just hate wasting peoples time. I didn't talk about all the other things I feel the heart rate thing was the most important.

How is everyone this evening?



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Old 26-09-2017, 10:30 PM   #52847
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If it happens again it would not be a waste of time to go to A&E, the best chance of working out what is causing things like this is being able to observe them when they are happening. It wouldn't be wasting their time. Look after yourself. x



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Old 27-09-2017, 02:47 PM   #52848
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Yeah you're right it's just a bother to get there. I never know when they may or may not stop like i might just get there or be on the way and it might just stop and I just get anxious about having to bother people.

How are you doing? It's so quiet here at the moment (hopefully a good thing?)



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Old 27-09-2017, 05:36 PM   #52849
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I understand that Leigh but I definitely don't think you'd be bothering anyone. You can always call 111 (they'll tell you to go to A&E) so when you get there you can be like '111 told me to come!' :P

Sending you all lots of love and hugs <3 How are you all doing?



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 27-09-2017, 07:33 PM   #52850
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I'm not the best at the minute. My mood is no longer low as such I'm all ansty and agitated and keep going a bit quick. I'm hoping its just part of my mood settling down again but its not nice.

How are you two doing?

Hannah is wise Leigh, I know it is a nuisance but it is better once you know what is going on. I have an irregular heart beat it was so stressful before I knew what it was.



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Old 27-09-2017, 10:29 PM   #52851
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I'm sorry you're feeling that way Sarah, it sounds really difficult. Is there anything that usually helps you feel more settled? I hope you're managing to take good care of yourself <3

I am indeed wise :P

I'm feeling pretty fragile after therapy today. My face hurts from crying.



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 27-09-2017, 10:39 PM   #52852
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I've been reading text books as a distraction which is working reasonably well. I've also been avoiding people as much as possible, as they are making more more agitated and grry.

You are!

Sorry you are feeling fragile, poor face :( I hope you are taking care of yourself too. x



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Old 27-09-2017, 11:20 PM   #52853
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*leaving hugs*

Hannah I'm sorry you are feeling fragile. You are a strong. I hope you feel stronger soon and I hope therapy is going well (despite the crying)

Sarah sorry your mood isn't great. I'm glad you've found somethings that are helping though.

It is so stressful (which in turn makes it worse) it's just the fear that I might go to sleep and not wake up. I don't know what happened last time..I was 13/14 so don't think I was too bothered. Tonight has been ok so far..really should be asleep though.

Hope your all asleep now



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Old 27-09-2017, 11:39 PM   #52854
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I'm glad the textbooks are working as a distraction Sarah, and I really hope that things settle down a bit soon.

Leigh, I can totally understand that, it must be really horrible. I don't think that's likely to happen - if your GP felt that there was any risk of that happening I'm sure they wouldn't have sent you home. I know that probably doesn't help though. Try to look after yourself.

*huge hugs for you both*

Thanks guys, I am trying to be nice to myself. It's going okay I think. I don't know. It was only the second session of actually working on stuff and it's really weird but I actually think it might help.



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 28-09-2017, 12:24 PM   #52855
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Hi lovely people.

Sarah, I hope you feel more settled today. Well done for distracting yourself.

Leigh, I can imagine that's very scary. The others are right, your gp wouldn't sent you home if there was a risk of that happening, but even so it would definitely be reasonable to go to A&E if only so that they can get a tracing of what's going on.

Hannah it's totally ok to be fragile after therapy, and I'm glad you're being nice to yourself. Feeling like it's going ok and might help is a really positive thing and something to hold on to.

I'm doing ok. My mood has lifted to somewhere closer to a normal baseline. I had my first shift back in work and it went ok, and wasn't as exhausting as I was expecting. I've got four days in a row coming up next so will have to see how that goes. Food-wise things are a bit tough, I'm determined to lose the weight I've gained and am feeling better at the thought of making progress with that but am really struggling with food shopping... I keep going into shops and walking around and then just leaving with nothing. I know I should make a list but I really don't feel capable of doing that. So I'm muddling through one meal at a time at the moment.





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Old 28-09-2017, 04:07 PM   #52856
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Yeah it stresses me out a lot. I also found out chest pains with pains in neck/jaw at the same time is when you need to worry and that's been happening.ijust gotta hold out till Tuesday or go in 2 Drs if I'm at uni when it happens. So far so good today though.

Going to attempt to go to this mh society thing tonight..I'm really scared but need to fill up my evenings again.

Glad you think therapy is helpful. Keep being nice to yourself. Are you feeling any better today?

Eska,glad your mood is a bit better and work went ok. Good luck for next week. Can you write stuff on your list when youve run out of it?
I saw this thing the other day about student cooking on a budget and it was about writing all your food in order for example a list of proteins list for carbs and fruits/veg etc so then you know what you've got to make stuff with. I believe there are even sites where you can put in the ingredients you've got to see what you can make..I don't know if that would be helpful? (To me it seems like way to much effort) or could you plan for a few meals at a time?
What can you do to make the list feel easier for you to make?



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Old 30-09-2017, 10:39 PM   #52857
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Sorry for being so inconsistent but I've been moving in to a new flat and stuff so things have been hectic. Leaving love x





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Old 01-10-2017, 12:03 PM   #52858
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Hey Ali, how are you? I hope your move went well. Your flat looks lush.



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Old 02-10-2017, 09:48 AM   #52859
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Hi, sorry I've been inconsistent here too. I sort of mentally fell off the face of the earth a bit last week. They put the plaque on my sister's site at the memorial park at last and it was my birthday on Sunday and I woke up feeling really emotional just on account of it being my first birthday without my sister being around. I skipped uni for a day and missed a few lectures here and there and I think I'm getting on top of it all now, but just feel a bit on shaky ground. Anxiety was getting me right through my head this morning.

How are you all now?

Ali, I hope you're enjoying your new flat.

Leigh, those chest pains don't sound good at all. Have you managed to have an ECG yet? I hope you're okay.

Hannah, I also hope you're okay. You always say you're muddling through, but I hope you're doing better than just muddling through sometimes! Is there any bingo on the horizon?

Eska, how are you coping with work? Meal planning is hard, especially when you are working. Keep persisting with it. One meal at a time is better than nothing.

Sarah, how are the agitation levels now? Are you still needing to avoid people? Sending you some calm, happy vibes.

Katie, where are you now?? You seem to have been MIA for a bit...hope you're okay!

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Old 02-10-2017, 12:42 PM   #52860
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Actually, to be honest, I'm really just trying to be okay. I'm struggling with anxiety in a different way to what I have in the past and I've got suicidal thoughts interrupting me through the day. I'm having trouble shaking them. I don't feel like acting on them...I just keep thinking if I died I wouldn't have to work so hard to find light in amongst all of this pain. Sorry if this sounds overly dramatic.

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