When you've had the experience of 2 burglaries in one year contributed to PTSD, you're ultra aware of these things. It's like not leaving your post hanging out of your letter box.
It's common sense really.
I sometimes find it funny and a tad peculiar that people feel the need to make threads, just assuming everyone loves them enough to miss them.
Which is pretty horrible to be honest, but I always think "Well, not everyone knows you, and the ones who might worry wouldn't need a thread to tell them, you'd probably be close enough that you'd tell them in casual conversation." So then I just think the poster wants some attention and acknowledgement, but there's nothing particularly wrong with that, y'know?
But yeah, they shouldn't be banned, people should just be made aware of how unnecessary they usually are.
I swear, RYL is just becoming one big moaning zone.
Sorry to be blunt, but seriously?
It's a post.
A post that will more than likely be on the second page within hours!
I could sit here pointing out hundreds of bloomin' unnecessary posts on general, but what would be the point? It's a general board - what maybe unnecessary to some, may be necessary for others!
People don't take advantage of half the stuff on RYL, but that's upto them. It doesn't mean they aren't appreciated, it's just most of the time people have more important things on there mind than to think to use them.
It doesn't make people "bad" or "stupid" for not using them. I'm sure thousands of RYL users really make good use of them, which should prove they're still used.
Sorry to be so harsh, but everyone is just being so picky about everything at the moment on RYL, it's just never ending!
Even if opinions are given on this topic, there's nothing anyone can do about it, no one can enforce rules or ban people for making such "unnecessary" posts. Stickys don't work - or so i've read - therefor, just leave them to it.
And if it bothers people that much, maybe go around to each of these threads and point out the features on RYL that they can use.
I dont' know if I should reply to this becasue i'm actually going to make a post like this in the next week and a half! But that will be in vets and just sharing with my friends there my excitment! :D yay! lol
They get tedious when there are half a dozen saying they're going away for 24 horus and not to worry... so i do agree there. maybe if it can just be brough to everyones attention that these features are available in a general post which means no one is being singled out. Yes? No? Maybe? lol
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
As far as not wanting to make people feel bad by deleting threads etc, I really am sure it's not the biggest knock people are ever going to get, I mean come on. I get what you're saying about having peoples feelings given consideration for but I find the wrapping people in cotton wool effect quite patronizing.
Peoples feelings aren't taken into consideration when they are edited without warning or have a thread deleted because of breaking a rule that they weren't aware of because they didn't 'think about it'.
Sure, it's not going to be the biggest knock people receive in life - that's blatant. However, this isn't real life, it's a place people can come when they're feeling bad, to talk to others going through the same struggles, to receive support, the last thing people want is to be knocked in such a way when they're on a site they think is going to be safe, secure and comfortable.
Rule breaking is entirely different. The rules are laid down for the safety of members and the community, and people are informed of them before they fully join the site - they know what they're getting themselves in for, and if they don't like the rules then this isn't the place for them. You cannot say "we're editing this out because it's tipsharing" and "we're editing this out because people think it's pointless and cluttering the boards" is on the same level, because it's not.
Sure, it's not going to be the biggest knock people receive in life - that's blatant. However, this isn't real life, it's a place people can come when they're feeling bad, to talk to others going through the same struggles, to receive support, the last thing people want is to be knocked in such a way when they're on a site they think is going to be safe, secure and comfortable.
Rule breaking is entirely different. The rules are laid down for the safety of members and the community, and people are informed of them before they fully join the site - they know what they're getting themselves in for, and if they don't like the rules then this isn't the place for them. You cannot say "we're editing this out because it's tipsharing" and "we're editing this out because people think it's pointless and cluttering the boards" is on the same level, because it's not.
lolz. sorry chels, i know oh my god they are so annoying but usually the title is "i'm going away for a few days" so i know not to bother wasting my time clicking it. there is nothing that can be done, i really don't think anything should be done. worst is the "NEW SCREENNAME!" though, or even worse "WHAT SHOULD I CHANGE MY SCREENNAME TO?" god. i hate all that ****. in general i only click on about three or four threads a page because the rest is total garbage. but! i don't really care. it annoys me because it takes up space, whatever. but i just ignore them & there is nothing else you can do but do the same.
it does make me wonder just how much people on this site interact with (read: rely on) other members though, if they are posting a thread just to say they will be gone for a couple days. i think that is more worrying. i think because of the nature of this site, if someone regular disappears for even a couple of days people will assume they are dead/in hospital/had a major crisis when really they just didn't come online and that is a bit sad. but maybe that is me just talking rubbish.
How is it "sad" to worry over someone you have become relatively close to??
If someone is going through a particularly hard time, i think it's a natural reaction from friends to worry about the whereabouts of there friends/someone they have become close to!
Especially if someone comes on RYL everyday for hours at a time, only to disappear off the face of the earth for 2-3-4 days without a word of warning.
I have to agree with Linda on that bit. If someone is relying on RYL so much that being gone for a day sets of a mass panic it is pretty sad. People should be able to walk away from RYL for a few days if they want to without having to worry about everyone else getting upset because they assume the worst.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Walking away for 24 hours is COMPLETELY different to just vanishing for 2-3-4-5 days.
I'd rather know my friend is well/safe/away, than worry myself stupid over them having done something. I'm talking about people who're currently going through a very bad period in there life. I'm not talking about people who still stay on RYL who're recovered/content, i'm talking about people who're suicidal/distraught, who are recieving immense support from there online friends, who then just disappear for days/weeks/sometimes months!
It's common courtesy if you're going through a bad period, just to let others who have supported you, know you won't be around for upto a week/s/month/s.
I'm not talking about someone going away for 24 hours and everyone going "Ohmygod, they're dead!" I'm talking about people who are in seriously dangerous situations, who suddenly go missing with no explanation.
How is it "sad" to worry over someone you have become relatively close to??
If someone is going through a particularly hard time, i think it's a natural reaction from friends to worry about the whereabouts of there friends/someone they have become close to!
Especially if someone comes on RYL everyday for hours at a time, only to disappear off the face of the earth for 2-3-4 days without a word of warning.
i think it is sad because it is dangerous, and i meant sad as in literally sad not sad as in "bad" or "uncool," i don't know if that was clear. i think it is sad because i don't think anyone should use ryl or even the people they have met/talk to on ryl as their sole support system. i think too many people do this on ryl and to be honest i probably did at some point too but now i think it is very unhealthy. not knocking ryl because i think it is great here but i think some people rely on it too much, basically.
but this is not really related to the original post at all.
edit, dramatic: that is the thing, if you are "worrying yourself stupid that they have done something" if they just disappear for a while (and i am talking up to five days, seven days, whatever) then i think that is too much even if they are suicidal. i don't know, i have a lot of cynicism about this situation because i have constantly been in situations since i have been on ryl where somebody has literally told me they are going to kill themselves & then disappear & i get worried and then they are just fine, and it really pisses me off. that is why i don't worry anymore. more than likely they will not be dead, and if they are not dead then anything else that could have possibly happened i see as progression and most of the time progression that they must do alone, or at least without someone feeding their ego for attention.
/complete tangent.
Last edited by linder surprise : 24-10-2008 at 12:08 AM.
How is it "sad" to worry over someone you have become relatively close to??
If someone is going through a particularly hard time, i think it's a natural reaction from friends to worry about the whereabouts of there friends/someone they have become close to!
Especially if someone comes on RYL everyday for hours at a time, only to disappear off the face of the earth for 2-3-4 days without a word of warning.
But thats what the i am currently status message is for and you can put it in your profile.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
these people who are posting these are posting in the general threads though and alot of people who stick to serious discussion or e.d or vets will never see it... shouldn't they be posting it in a specific board if they think that people are going into a mass panic? And it is very sad if people get so worried when someone is gone for a few days and people think they've done themselves in. And very often those people have threads ongoing that their friends are reading. why don't they put it in there?
i'm not being judgemental so don't get snarky with me! I'm just pointing out that sharing the joy or getting ideas for holidays is different then going away for two days and posting in a board where hardly anyone knows who you are... whilst ignoring a board where lots of people know you...
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
One day is very different then 2 or 3 weeks or even a couple months.
I agree that the posts stating they will be away for 24 hours are kinda pointless because most people wouldn't notice but the fact is wouldn't you rather have a pointless thread for 100 people then not have the thread at all and have a member get really upset that they don't know what is happening?
Lots of threads have no real purpose, it doesn't mean they should be banned.
If it bugs you that much, just ignore them! No one is making you read them. You can preview what the message is without clicking on it. Besides the titles usually say what they are about.
You can't really put a stop to them.
It would be the same as saying you can't post lame jokes in F&D.
I just want to check something...
You guys aren't dis-agreeing with the posts about going on holidays being excited, right? It's the ones that are just telling people they will be gone for a couple days and not mentioning anything else.
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
^^ No they're just finding something else to whinge about on RYL.
They don't agree in the posts because they're "unnecessary" - this is the type of posts that say someone is going on holiday for a week.
I've never seen someone say "I'm going away, won't be back until tomorrow" - so i don't know where all this 24 hour rubbish has come from.
And, you're right, many people are lying about wanting to kill themselves, doesn't stop me worrying though does it?
Everyone takes things differently - if people don't want to give two hoots about one another on RYL then maybe they shouldn't be here in the first place.
I certainly won't apologise for actually genuinly caring for a good friend who has been through a particularly rough time, then vanishes with no explanation!
Whether they're alive or not, in most cases it's hospitalisation/psychiatric help/bad suicide attempt or SI. It's still worrying regardless.
One could argue that nearly all the threads on RYL are people whining, so what makes this one any different?
Look, I'm sorry that one of your friends didn't tell you where they were going, but people do need to better educated about what features RYL has and how best to use them instead of posting threads that are redundant to features RYL already has.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I didn't even mention that one of my friends disappeared and never told me.
But i've had to comfort friends who have been worried sick about others who are here non stop for months, then suddenly vanish.
The majority of people know where everything is on RYL - they just choose not to use them. It's there decision as to whether they make use of them or not surely?!
And indeed. Most threads could be seen as whiney, but most threads aren't about a trivial subject like someone posting a "I'm going away on holiday" thread!!
Oh? And who decides what is trivial? It obviously is bothering someone enough to post about it.
Are you really sure that the majority of people on RYL know where everything is? I just saw a post today from someone who didn't know how to use multi-quote. Look through F&QC at all the "how do I do ...." threads and "were can i find....." threads.
When Chelsea posted in a thread in GC about the Guide to RYL a large number of people didn't even know it existed, let alone had looked at it, so I think saying that the majority of people know where everything is may be a bit of a stretch IMO.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Chels, I agree with you that they're irritating. It's great when people want to share their excitement. I don't see why they can't tell their friends privately if thy're just going away for a few days instead of posting it on a board where they don't go that often. I think stuff like that is pointless. There are lots of random threads that are pointless and that's fine. But some of those "random and pointless" threads go on for pages and pages becasue people amke their own fun.
you can't stop 'em. you don't ahve to liek them. you cna just ignore them. Doesn't mean you can't ask if others are sick of them too.
If you think ryl is all about whining stop reading posts on this board, as inevitablty someones question is going to annoy you.
It wasn't until a few weeks ago that i know about the live forum view and i've been on ryl for a long time.
People have different opinions and not everyone will agree. Accept it.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
