Safe - "I can't go to hospital"

[iliketea416]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angel_of_Urs

I think people are forgetting that alot of users on here are younger and so are far more inclined to panic. . . rather than shutting down the threads or becoming irritated by them surely its better to point out that actually it's a good thing they have come here for support in the first place (which it is) better than suffering in silence.

I agree up to a point, but no matter what your age is, you still need to learn to take responsibility for your actions and sometimes that means getting medical help. It's (in my opinion) that most important and sometimes the most difficult part of recovery. We are all too quick sometimes to say, for example, "you make me feel blah" whereas we should be saying "I feel like blah because". We are always in control (bar those with psychosis etc). And taking that control will help us all to recover.

I do think that there is only so much we can do here as a website, and I'm not convinced that just supporting the person is always enough. It's not quite "being cruel to be kind" but it's something along those lines. We all need a bit of straight talking now and again. The problem is, when you know you are wrong, it isn't always well recieved.

I like the idea of moving the threads where peopl aren't prepared to go to hospital to other forums, as I just don't think they are first aid problems anymore, especially if full advise has been given and ignored (for whatever reason). Then, if people want to support, they can, but it leaves the first aid forum more free for it's sole purpose.

I understand that sometimes it's difficult to go to hospital etc, but hiding behind excuses like "not wanting your Mum to find out" isn't going to help the person who needs to get treatment. The worst thing about being afraid, is the fear itself and normally, the actual act will be a lot less scary than you feared it might be.

Didn't set out to offend anyone; this is just my two pences worth.

[Animad]

Just want to mention that if we were out not to listen to anyone's opinion then we wouldn't give a thread 24hrs grace of us telling them to seek help before locking it; we don't lock threads whenever we like and a lot of thought does go into it before we do and often discussion in these cases amongst the team.

Whatever emotional situation you're in makes no difference to whether or not you need to go to hospital and that may sound blunt but it is true. If anything people may say the worse emotionally you are the more need there is for you to get to hospital ASAP because you are more likely to harm yourself further. The truth of the matter is the FA Team try to give out objective advise of whether we feel in that situation whether you do or not regarding the medical problem and often if people don't want to we will give them other options if we feel these are apprpriate; we don't just say "you need to go to hospital" never enter the thread again until 24hrs later when we lock it; we don't ever work like this a a team and will never want to. We appreciate that there are emotional reasons why people may not; many of us have these ourselves, and so this is why there are situations where they will be moved to a support forum or another thread made in one where appropriate. We also give advice such as contacting the supporters if people are having additional emotional problems at the time but to be honest the FAF is not the place to come if you want someone to say "ok you don't want to go to the hospital because your parents will find out so it'll all be fine and you don't have to"; if we were to say that then not only would it be irresponsible and could cause you to become very unwell, possibly even die in some cases, but it would also upset ourselves, aggravate other users and open ourselves up to all sorts of liability issues.

The problem is that when people panic and ask for help on the FAF then they often know they need to go to hospital and are finding a way out of getting that help but the problem is we cannot give advice/ tips that will lead to you not getting help if we feel it is needed and we do it because we care about your wellbeing, not because we want to scare you further or anything. And the other issue is always that if you don't then your parents could find you collapsed (or worse) on the floor or end up taking you to hospital once a cut has become so infected the infection has gone into your body and at that point it would be much harder for them to deal with then telling them straight off or whatever. I know that is hard. My own parents don't know that I used to cut and I'd hate for them to know but we're here to give advice that is there to try to keep you safe from whatever you have done and reduce risk; not necessarily give you the answer you are wanting to here. And whilst this may sound harsh there are many users that are glad that we pushed them to go to hospital or that they told their parents as it meant things were out in the open and they could get the help that they need.