Help I'm suffering from real bad anxiety

[hotpot80]

Ok hello, I'm new to this website and Iv read a few posts and the problem I'm about to write is not even a drop in the ocean compared to what some people are going through but I still feel so anxious.

So I was seeing a girl from September 15 until the beginning of January 16 not long I know but we hit it off real well anyway I won't bore you with the ins and outs but cut a long story short. I was not over a previous relationship and this is why she ended things.. I met her on tinder and she is from a village where Iv just bought a house I'm away with work for 3 months and move in when I get back.. she doesn't live in the village but goes back at weekends but all her family and friends live there..
Basically we ended and decided to just stay in touch as friends all was well I started dating again and never messaged her she would always message me to see if I was ok and it was friendly texts.. between January and March this was.. she also sent me a few drunk messages saying she missed me I responded not saying i miss her but just in a polite way as I was over her.. Anyway the last time she said she missed me was mid to late February.. I kinda said we should meet up for a drink she said she was busy with work and uni but after she had got that out the way she would..
For some reason I really started to miss her the weekend before I went away with work like the beginning of March so I thought stuff it and rang her told her exactly how I felt and I missed her and wanted us to do something before I went away. She basically said she'd been on other dates and she was not interested in me at all anymore and I should find someone else.. which yea is fair enough but I was pissed off as she said she would meet up for a drink when she wasn't busy as she was the one who kept breaking the silence between us.
I am over her but couldn't really handle the rejection and poured my heart out to her through text.. my bad I know that's when she said move on etc... I said you know where I am when I get back from my trip away.

The thing is that's making me real anxious is the fact I regret sooooooo much for sending them texts as feel a fool but more importantly I can't explain it but I feel like I can't be happy about moving into my new place when I get back incase she has told her family and they all think I'm some sort of weirdo who is just pining over her.

Iv got a really good job and good life really but I feel such a loser for pouring my heart out because iv bought this place in the new area as a complete fresh start but feel like iv tarnished it already.

I know I need to man up as they say as it's not a big deal but for some reason it's really affecting me as I hate someone thinking bad of me..

Sorry I know it's not a big deal but for me it feels like I should be looking forward to moving in to my new home but this seems to be blocking the happiness and making me real real anxious.. I hope I get some advice. Thank you for reading.

[Amaranth]

We all do/say things we regret, but you shouldn't let it affect the good things you have going right now. I don't mean this in a horrible way, but those texts probably didn't mean as much to her as your anxiety is making you think. She's not going to think you're a weirdo; and on the off chance she has told someone else about the texts, I doubt they'd think you're a weirdo either!
At the end of the day, you've probably bolstered your ex's self-esteem and made her feel desirable, so I doubt she really minded at all.
You need to focus on you now. You seem to have a lot of positives in your life and that is fantastic. Enjoy your new house, it's something you've worked for and deserve; try not to let this spoil things as it really doesn't need to. You've done something you regret - it was just a mistake, we all make them and will all continue to make them; but we can learn from them and move on a bit wiser. You've done nothing wrong and don't need to keep beating yourself up over it.