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Old 09-02-2013, 10:59 PM   #1
Left in the centre
Sarah - Like a butterfly, never settling
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bedford.
I am currently:
self indulgence?

I feel like im making myself mad because i dont know how to be happy.

I'm spending all of my money at the gym and i still feel hideous.

I'm shaking from not eating sugar (too much sugar).

My mind feels like its dying from boredom and thinking.

but none of this is serious.

I'm not suicidal or clinically depressed anymore.

I'm not sleeping around

I'm not lying.

Am i just pretending to be slipping back or am i .

i feel like i cant trust myself



A tyrant spell has bound me
And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte


The pain
You wake to is not yours
-
Sylvia Plath



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Old 09-02-2013, 11:18 PM   #2
whirlpools
 
Join Date: May 2008

Recovery can feel like a bumpy road, I can relate. I think you can get so used to experiencing intense emotions that, when they start to subside, you can feel a bit dead, a bit empty. It's like you can spend years on high alert, in a state of anxiety, and almost get used to it, even though it's awful. Then the storms starts to settle a bit and you start to level out, and that can feel hard to adjust to.

Do you have a good daily structure in place? Sometimes having something meaningful to do every day, a reason to get out of bed, is good in keeping you connected with the world. Spiritually, something very helpful can be reaching out and using your skills to help others. You can get a real feeling of accomplishment and meaning through helping other people, even if it's just in little ways.

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Old 10-02-2013, 08:30 AM   #3
Left in the centre
Sarah - Like a butterfly, never settling
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bedford.
I am currently:

i found it easy when i started working because i didnt have time to think.
now my hours are being cut because of funding and stuff and my ability to think and worry is growing. but istill work 5 full days a week (as a teaching assistant) and 2 nights a week
so that provides quite a lot of structure.

i just feel like i need to stop making myself down and unsure.
but ive never been very good at that



A tyrant spell has bound me
And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte


The pain
You wake to is not yours
-
Sylvia Plath



Left in the centre is offline   Reply With Quote
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