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Old 04-01-2019, 02:40 PM   #61
one_step_closer
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Well done for having the tea Beckie, huge respect.

I hope the staff in the new ward are supportive.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 04-01-2019, 03:18 PM   #62
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Thanks Lindsay

I am at the new ward now.
They seem nice



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 04-01-2019, 03:25 PM   #63
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Glad they seem nice at the new ward <3



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

[''There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'I wish I was the monster you think I am.'


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Old 04-01-2019, 03:35 PM   #64
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Thanks x
Its a waaaay smaller ward.
Think there are only a few of us here atm so it's a lot quieter



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 04-01-2019, 03:51 PM   #65
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That sounds good.



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

[''There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'I wish I was the monster you think I am.'


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Old 04-01-2019, 04:27 PM   #66
one_step_closer
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Good stuff Beckie. :)





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 04-01-2019, 04:53 PM   #67
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That does sound good about the new ward.

Ugh. Even if you are psychotic, there's no reason to invalidate your experiences and fears. <3



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 04-01-2019, 04:53 PM   #68
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I am glad they are ok at the new ward. How are you getting on with eating and drinking?

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Old 04-01-2019, 05:24 PM   #69
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Hey Beckie. I'm glad the new ward is quieter. Not sure what to say so just leaving some support. <3

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Old 04-01-2019, 05:32 PM   #70
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Thank you everyone <3

I've just seen the new doctor.
She is talking about forcing nutrition and fluids.
I am terrified



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 04-01-2019, 06:40 PM   #71
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Do you think there is a way you can come to a compromise between you and the doctor? Would you feel able to have a discussion with her or with a nurse?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 04-01-2019, 07:34 PM   #72
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She prescribed fortisip but I can't deal with that either
Staff keep coming in and offering me food and drink and I just want to scream at them
I had a shower to calm down



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 04-01-2019, 07:40 PM   #73
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I hate to be blunt here, but it sounds like if you don't start eating and drinking on your own terms, then they WILL force it. Even if it doesn't feel safe or okay, are there any types of things that feel slightly LESS not okay that you could have? This isn't a situation where you want the control taken away from you, so any decisions you can make while you are still allowed, it might be worth a shot.

If they offer you food and drink, perhaps you could at least ask what the options are instead of just saying no? Maybe once you know what there is, you could come up with something worth trying?



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Old 04-01-2019, 08:02 PM   #74
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Its just so difficult
I know it probably sounds really stupid
But I had that cup of tea earlier and things were definitely not ok after that.
I don't think they'll be able to force me because I will not go. There is no way.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 04-01-2019, 08:08 PM   #75
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It doesn't sound stupid, and I'm not trying to suggest it will be easy to agree to. That's why I was thinking maybe you could just ask what options there are, because that's not necessarily agreeing to having anything?

In what way were things not okay after the tea?

I guess my point is that even though eating/drinking is not okay right now, being forced to eat/drink would be worse. So in that sense, it might be LESS not okay to try to do some eating/drinking on your own.

Also, I'm unsure what you mean by you won't go, but with regards to forcing it, again I don't mean to be blunt or scare you, but they can tube you and force fluids/nutrition that way. That's not something you want.



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Old 05-01-2019, 10:17 AM   #76
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Things weren't ok because I started to feel ill and the voices were going crazy
It was not nice

I see what you are saying and I understand
But I still don't think they'll be able to actually get me to a hospital because I WILL NOT go.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 05-01-2019, 01:14 PM   #77
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They... don't need to put you in a medical hospital to do it though. They can do it there.

You say you started to feel ill and the voices went crazy, but did it eventually pass or at least lessen in intensity?



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Old 05-01-2019, 04:53 PM   #78
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They can't as far as I'm aware.
They keep mentioning the local medical hosptial.

It passed only after I stopped eating and drinking again.
It was awful



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 05-01-2019, 05:57 PM   #79
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Well so it did pass in time then, is how I would read that. I wouldn't correlate it with not having anything else. It might be something where the more regularly you can do it, the less intense and awful the voices and feeling ill gets as your body readjusts. Do you think trying again is an option?

How are you doing otherwise?



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Old 05-01-2019, 06:08 PM   #80
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How would you feel about bottled water, and/or if (by PM/Fb/whtever) you told me the hospital address and I would swear on my dog's life it's not contaminated, if I sent you food woulds you try it?



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

[''There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'I wish I was the monster you think I am.'


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