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Old 29-07-2007, 02:31 PM   #1
*****
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Is it possible to get better without dealing with your past? *opinions*

I thought it was and I stopped therapy about a month ago, things were going very well for me and I thought that I had gotten through everything without having to dig into my past...

But now I'm going downhill again and I think it's because I'm still not dealing with certain issues from my past (emotional abuse, witnessing domestic violence)... I'm considering starting therapy again for this.

I'd like some opinions though... do you think it's possible to recover from self-destructive behaviour/depression/ ... without dealing with these issues?

I hope this makes some sense




I read somewhere... how important it is in life
not necessarily to be strong...
but to feel strong.


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Old 29-07-2007, 02:36 PM   #2
*Beth*
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I think it's different for everyone. Some can, some can't.

My psychologist is really pushing for me to not have therapy which deals with my past and just move on. I guess she thinks if i haven't got over it alone in my head, therapy won't help either.... but i reckon without trying i'll never know. I honestly think without dealing with my past properly, i can't move on to my future.

Yeh, i don't really know.... some people can and some people can't.



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Old 29-07-2007, 02:46 PM   #3
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i think it is possible however it would be a lot 'easier' to do so if you dealt with the underlying causes because youre always going to need somesort of outlet for those undealt with emotions and thoughts. sorry that probably wasnt too helpful.
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Old 29-07-2007, 02:50 PM   #4
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For me, working through the past roots is essential, so much of my feeling and personality got split off Back Then, to gain a sense of myself, I have to find the feelings and make connections so I can live more fully in the present.

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Old 29-07-2007, 09:55 PM   #5
not_so_insig
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I think that for most people, they have to deal with some of the issues, if not all. A month ago, I met with my possibly future (depends if I take therapy or not) therapist, and she said that she meets people in their 40s and 50s who have suffered when they were children.

Like perfection is a flaw said, you need an emotional outlet, and if you chose to hurt yourself, then that is not good. (Recently, I had a bad phase and I started overeating) Similarly, if you hurt others, that is not good.

You will know when the right time is for you, whether it be 6 months time or 20 years time, but either way, it eats you up inside and hurts you in the long run. I thought I was ok, but recent events over the past month woke up emotions that I thought I had buried years ago, and it's not good.

Therapy with someone works for others, others it doesnt, also it depends on the therapist too. For some people, getting a self help book may be the answer, or finding an alternative non hurtful way of releasing emotion may be the key. Everyone had their own answer.



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Old 30-07-2007, 09:11 AM   #6
bloodletting
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i think it depends on what you have to deal with, and the people you have around to support you. you need the right tools to overcome severe childhood trauma, and therapists can help give you those tools, ie ways in which you can release feelings safely etc. i suffered abuse for over ten years, but didnt seek counselling until recently, but i think it's helping already...do what you feel is right, if you need that extra support from a therapist then take it.
stay safe xoxoxox



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Old 30-07-2007, 09:24 AM   #7
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Thanks for the replies... I'm probably going to do it. I remember my therapist at the ED unit telling me (right before I left) that she really hopes I face my demons one day... and it's only now that I understand that advice really...

I'm really scared about it though, because everything I pushed away will come floating up again...




I read somewhere... how important it is in life
not necessarily to be strong...
but to feel strong.


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Old 30-07-2007, 10:02 AM   #8
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... and it won't eat away at you inside so much... it can be a difficult and painful process. But I can honestly say that it is worth it.

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Old 18-08-2007, 04:26 AM   #9
Kallisti
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I don't know.
I'm having a lot of problems.

The past seems to continually undermine me, so perhaps it is necesary for me. Unfortunately, I've got no idea how to go about this.

Some people might not need to, though.



"When I was a little kid, my mother told me not to stare into the sun, so when I was six I did..."

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Old 18-08-2007, 04:36 AM   #10
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Possible?, probally.

healthy?, probally not





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Old 18-08-2007, 07:06 AM   #11
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You deal with the past by learning to handle the present. You actually move "forward" to what you left behind and not backward. Getting ahead of yourself and analysing the past often blocks healing because it deepens the spell and causes a person to be more subjective when being more OBJECTIVE is what is needed. As you handle little things in the present and stop escaping/compensating/reacting your psyche peels back like the layers like an onion. You will have insights/realisations about the past as you learn to stay in the present moment and not get tangled up in false matrix of past and present as drawn out in the mind. Modifying over-reacting and not escaping will bring the old things back when they bubble up to the surface for review. When that happens you really just need to see them and not react and try to fix them. Healing is natural and getting "out-of-the-way" is really the ideal course.

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