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Old 13-08-2008, 12:34 AM   #1
<3 Kerry <3
 
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Triggering (SI/Abuse) - Saturday

Ok im not sure where to start with this one really

Friday me and my "best mate" went out had a couple of drinks, had a laugh with a few friends went home watched a DVD and fell asleep! sounds gr8 eh, well she asked me to stay again on the sat, so i did, except she was working in the evening from 7-12 so i sat at hers, had a friend over watched a dvd etc, he left at 9 so my "best mate" asked me to go up to the pub she works at so i did, she had been drinking all night whilst working behind the bar, and was hammered, she couldnt pour a proper pint! she kept dropping glasses! whilst i was there she drank sambuca by the half pints and it was horrid! anyway i was her lift home,and i offered to take a guy that was up there home to, anyways we dropped him home no probs, my "best mate" was drunk in the front and she turned around and said

" do you love me?" i just replied with your drunk and laughed thinking she was messing around.

We were on the way back to hers and she started getting really angry with me, telling me to tell her i loved her etc, she opened up my car door whilst i was driving and said she was going to kill herself if i didnt tell her, i stopped the car in the middle of the road and pulled her back in locking the doors, she carried on saying she was gunna kill herself if i didnt tell her, i started crying i was on my own trying to drive and she was threatening to kill herself. i managed to pull up outside her house, and she started getting violent, she walked round to my car window leant in and said, so you dont love me, i dont mean anything to you right? i didnt know what to do i couldnt stop crying, she walked upto the wall and punched it splitting her nuckles ect. she came up to me, put her bleeding hand against my face and said so you dont love me huh!

i walked into her house and she locked all the doors behind me and started going mad, she picked up a glass and threw it at me saying you dont care, i may aswell not be here, i couldnt stop crying, the glass smashed all over the floor and she picked a piece of it up and made one long cut from her wrist to the middle of her arm saying this is because of you i tried to take the glass off her and she cut me with it. the she brought out a box of painkillers she had been taking and said that this is the end if i dont love her she cant go on, i managed to get hold of the tablets and flushed them all down the toilet, i walked back out of the bathroom and she ppushed me against the wall, putting her hands around my neck and started choking me saying she lovess me why cant i love her. i couldnt breath and no matter how hard i tried i could push her off me, then she suddenly let go, i fell to the floor and tried crawling across to a phone, i picked it up and it was dead, she had unplugged it from upstairs. i walked into the kitchen, and she was stood the with glass to her neck, saying that i had caused her to do this, and i just ran at her, no matter what she had done to me that night i still wanted to stop her.

I ended up calling the police but they sent an ambulance for me cos the women sed i was hyper - something,

Why would she do that?

She has apologised and tried to sort things out but i dont know weather to trust her?

Was it down to the drink?

:(

can anybody help sort my head out!

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Old 13-08-2008, 09:25 AM   #2
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That must have been one rough night *hugs*.

It sounds like the answer is certainly yes; it was down to the drink. I don't think that you should stop trusting her though as she probably needs a good friend right now.

Whilst drink can affect people in different ways at different times her behaviour that night is obviously extreme and there could be some underlying issues.

Did anything happen to trigger it? Was this a one off? Does she tend to drink a lot? Does she drink alone? Is there anything else going on in her life that could have led to this or brought those thoughts into her head?




Ranting here *trig SI/Abuse*


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Old 13-08-2008, 12:34 PM   #3
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i ihavnt stopped being there for her, i have tried so hard, but being alone with her scares me! ive told her im moving away to New Zealand next month, she says thats the reason she did it, but i htink there is more to it than that, although its good to know someone cares im going, she seems a little to destraught about it :( she asked me to stay at hers this fri, i dont want to, im scared of being alone with her! she does drink, and when she goes out she can drink alot, which is why i was so unsure about sat :s

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Old 13-08-2008, 12:49 PM   #4
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Your friend obviously cares a lot about you and is really going to miss you when you move away although her reaction to it does seem a bit OTT. You said that there could be more to it but when you have gone will she be on her own or does she have any other friends she can rely on?

As it seems that drink is part of this have you tried suggesting going round and doing something where drink is not involved? If she refuses then that could be a good cue to talk about the amount she is drinking and why.




Ranting here *trig SI/Abuse*


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Old 13-08-2008, 01:27 PM   #5
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no i think she will be alone, she relys alot on me. i have been talking to her godsons mum and she seems to think that she feeels for me more than a friend, and because im not that way enclined she maybe finding it even more difficult, altho she hasnt said she is a lesbian, its been a suspicion.

I feel bad enough im going, but like i said to her, i cant live the life i am here forever! I wouldnt mind going over, but i dont think it was all to do with the drink, and i dont really wanna put myself in that situation again. am i being a lil harsh on her :(

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Old 13-08-2008, 02:31 PM   #6
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You shouldn't feel bad for going as you have to live your life for you and if her (possible) romantic feelings are not reciprocal, which they aren't, then in the long run she will have to deal with that at some point anyway.

The problems may run deeper but unless she has behaved in that way before when sober I would think it highly unlikely that she will do it again without drink. Even if anything does start to happen, without alcohol, it should be far easier to handle.

Maybe you are being a smidgeon harsh but ultimately your safety is important and although it is difficult to judge from here I would say that if she plans to drink then don't go. Hopefully this will be enough of an incentive for her to stay sober and explain what is really going on.




Ranting here *trig SI/Abuse*


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