Graphic - Genereal question

[coldsummer]

I don't know how serious this is but I thought I'd post it here because it's triggering.
I mostly stopped cutting but once in a few months I relapse. And since I stopped cutting regularly I've noticed that it's much harder for me to cut as deep as I would like. I thought it could be what I use isn't sharp enough but that doesn't seem to be the problem, can it be that the skin sort of thickened? As a result of the scars, or something else? Has anyone experienced it?

[The Worst Witch]

You need to edit out what you use to self-harm, mentioning methods is against the rules and is classed as tip-sharing.

I don't think I can really comment on your post at all, I think any answer given would be bordering on tip sharing also.

[Tig]

Hi,

It's brilliant to hear that you have mostly stopped self-harming, well done! It's understandable that at times you have relapsed and I can imagine it is difficult for you when you feel you are unable to cut to the extent you used to be able too.

I do feel this is a difficult thing to answer because of potential to tip-share but I know you have been aware of this by labelling it as triggering!
I will say I can empathise, although I no longer self harm, I have experienced this situation in the past so you aren't alone.

I was wondering if perhaps it would be helpful for you to look at further alternatives instead of looking in to how you can achieve self harm? I appreciate how well you are doing and that they are relapses, I just worry that if we were to say it is X, Y, Z then that isn't so helpful for your recovery.

What are your thoughts on this?

x

[coldsummer]

Well I have realized, over time, that trying to stop completely is worse for me, because when I think "I'm never ever going to do that again", I'm unable to stop, "never" is a scary word. When I tell myself "I'm not doing it now" it's much easier to keep pushing further and further and stretch more and more time without cutting at all. My longest is a year and a half!!!
Also, when I tried to stop "being like that" (cutter, depressed, anxious, suicidal, etc) it didn't help at all because it made me upset with myself and with who I am. It doesn't matter what you hate yourself for, as long as you do, it's bad. When I started thinking "oh well, that's me, I'm probably always going to be that, but I'm going to control it and to make the best of who I am", that really gave me a huge mood boost and sent me to much, much better places.
So when I give up and cut and end up getting no satisfaction, it sucks. It's like breaking a diet for a cake that doesn't even taste good. It only makes me cut more because I keep wanting "to give it just one more try". So I do think solving this could really help me!

[DyingToBeFree]

I'm going to post soon as I have a question similar to this, but I understand what you mean by breaking a diet for crappy cake. I sympathize with you. Congrats on making it as long as you do between relapses. I find your outlook inspiring, to accept you as you. I'm a perfectionist and tend to see things as all or nothing. Thanks for the post!