Dear Mum and Dad,
I am sorry
That I had to write this.
Sorry if I have let you down
Again.
But there is so much
That you do not understand.
I never wanted
For this to happen
And I bet that right now
You have no idea
What I am talking about
Well
Here is the bottom line.
See these marks?
Yes, the purple scars.
Well.
They were not the cat.
She had nothing to do with it.
So please stop putting her out
Whenever you spot a new mark on me.
I did them all myself.
You can cry, scream, whatever.
I don’t care any more.
Nothing matters.
And actually?
When you said
That you were here for me?
You weren’t really, were you?
If you had been, then my arm would be clear.
No scars.
And also, whenever I smiled and told you
That I was completely fine,
I lied.
Inside I was screaming out
For someone to realise that.
But nobody did.
Not even my parents.
You can punish me all you like
For what I have done
But at least I told you.
At least I stopped lying.
And just to let you know
(Not that you will care,
As you will be too busy thinking
Of my sentence)
I didn’t cut last night.
Or the night before.
In fact, I haven’t cut for 13 days.
I am proud of myself.
So next time
I smile and say I’m fine,
Why don’t you enquire further?
Maybe I want to talk about it.
Just to let you know,
I still love you.
I hope you still love me.
