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Old 14-04-2012, 02:19 AM   #23461
Tig
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shrink View Post
i'm crying because i feel so sad and lonely
but its my fault for being crazy and driving and pushing everyone away
Hey,

I can relate a lot to this. Although, to be honest in real life I mostly only see my Mum but I often end up pushing her away because of how I am and that leads me to feel lonely and I think loneliness in BPD can be an incredibly intense emotion. I've also pushed people away unintentionally because of anxiety and depression etc.

Try not to blame yourself though and label yourself as 'crazy'. You may have problems but you didn't choose to become ill with BPD. This is something that can be worked through and you won't feel this way forever.

Are you getting any support?

This is actually something I am (when I actually get it!) exploring in therapy at the moment.

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Old 14-04-2012, 02:39 AM   #23462
Pomegranate
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Shrink, have you tried just being straight about what you want or need fro
People? Generally people react better if you talk to them as real people. Any relationship is about balance. I read your latest rant and to be honest I would have been tempted to react the same way because you were hinting but not really saying which basically puts all the pressure and responsibility on the other
Persons lap. This gets even more complicated when they are colleagues etc. Different people on top if that have different levels of comfort. Talk to people, find out what they are comfortable with and what you expect from them. What can/do you think other people can do to
Help that you can't?





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Old 14-04-2012, 04:56 AM   #23463
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Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been around in a while I have been very busy.

I'm glad Mop helped you Ferret, animals can be so helpful just by being with us! I know my cats have helped me through a lot of hard times and I don't think I could live without pets.

Cheryl, I often have the same problem with schoolwork... Like Mary said sometimes its useless to try too much, if you can't work on it for now I think you should try to do something else for a while, and try again later. Taking breaks every once in a while is also a good plan.

I hope everyone is doing okay. x




I'd fly away to a higher place
to say words I resist, to float away, to sigh, to breathe... forget~


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Old 14-04-2012, 07:29 AM   #23464
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*Sends motivational glitter to Cheryl* You can do this

Mark hope your feeling a tad less anxious *hugs*

Ferret sorry that you longer have Mop but glad Mop helped while you had them

*Leaves hugs for shrink*

How is everyone?



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 14-04-2012, 11:16 AM   #23465
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I'm up , bathed , shaved and made tea despite not wanting to do any of that , Having coffee with my Bestest Friend at 1pm but have to call to find out where I'm meeting her , kind of glad we're doing coffee or I'd probs still be in bed.*Groups huggles and Sparkles*



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 14-04-2012, 11:54 AM   #23466
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Well done for getting up and getting ready. Hope you enjoy your coffee out



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 14-04-2012, 12:21 PM   #23467
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morning all (ok afternoon really)

hope your all well, well done on getting up and sorted Mark, i know what you mean this morning i didnt really know what to do with myself.

i ama actually missing mop this morning, i'm usually fine with this kind of thing, i've cared for various animals over the years for other people, fostering rats etc but i really missed mop this morning, i'll be honest i even looked up how much it would be to insure him last night but as we don't know whats going on home wise i can't even think about it, sigh oh well rambling on






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Old 14-04-2012, 01:56 PM   #23468
Cryptic.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shrink View Post
i'm crying because i feel so sad and lonely
but its my fault for being crazy and driving and pushing everyone away
I don't think it's about who is at fault Shrink, we didn't choose to be ill, as Tig said.

But, we can choose to find ways to cope with the symptoms we experience.
We can choose to learn skills to help us do that.
We can choose to fight back against it.
I guess it's about finding your own strength deep down to do this.

It's incredibly difficult to cope with BPD at the best of times, but there are treatments out there to help you, do you see anyone at all? Perhaps if you do, you could ask them what therapies are out there right now in your area to help with your BPD?

Or, if you don't see anyone, try going to your doctor and asking about it with them?

I can relate to pushing people away, I'm sure most if not all of us can.

I guess it's how we cope with perhaps fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, the walls we build, the defences we have to protect ourselves, to push them, to see if they really do give a damn and stick around, or to prove that you are really worth nothing and that nobody cares if they do leave/hurt you,
[not saying that is what you do or why you do it, just some ideas].

Don't feel guilty or bad for being ill, but do try and make positive and pro active choices in helping yourself and helping to cope with your symptoms and to try and manage your illness.

Sorry for the lecture!

I'm sending you lots of hugs and love, and feel free to keep posting here, we get it, we won't judge you, and we're here for you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Doikers View Post
I'm up , bathed , shaved and made tea despite not wanting to do any of that , Having coffee with my Bestest Friend at 1pm but have to call to find out where I'm meeting her , kind of glad we're doing coffee or I'd probs still be in bed.*Groups huggles and Sparkles*

Well done for getting up and bathing/shaving, that can be so so difficult when you're having bad days.

I hope the coffee went well with your friend, it's really positive.

*cuddles and lots of love for you*

What else do you have planned after coffee? You gonna have a chill day, or...?

x



I hope everyone else is doing okay as can be, how are we all doing anyway? I may as well just ask lol!

Lotsaaa love.
xxxxx

[P.S. It just took me like half an hour!!! to decide what to do with my new signature & avatar, & I'm still not sure about it, my lord, is anyone else crazy indecisive with such small things lol?! Like, a perfectionist!? It's ridiculous haha! ]


The following content has been hidden - Reason : Bumping the BPD distraction list!

The BPD thread distraction list

1. Watch TV/DVDs/programmes/etc - I love doing this, it helps me to distract myself from everything and just focus on what I'm watching :) I tend to get obsessed ;p

2. Play music really loud & sing/scream - this is really good, too, 'cause screaming the lyrics and just listening and focusing on a song helps tons!

3. Have a cup of tea - can be very soothing, and it's tasty, and warm :)

4. Read a book - it can be very helpful to read books when you're having a hard time, it can be anything, a magazine even too! Just something to focus on and enjoy / be interested in. :)

5. Text/call someone - I do this muchly!

6. Have a bath with favourite bubble bath/scent etc and candle lit.

7. Go for a walk and admire small things that are beautiful but often go unnoticed.

8. If you have a pet, have a cuddle with them or take care of them.

9. Make a collage using pictures from the internet/magazines etc to display how you are feeling.

10. Make a collage/poster on recovery and your goals/aims/dreams etc.

11. Play a game, such as an App on your phone or on the computer. This can help bring your focus away from whatever is going on.

12. Use some non toxic paints and paint pretty patterns on your body/hands.

13. Sing - apparently it's impossible to think and sing at the same time. (Now you'll try that out!)

14. Do a puzzle.

15. Play an instrument or if you can't play an instrument, consider learning to play an instrument.

16. If you like writing, decide on a random title yourself or use a story generator to start off a fictional story.

17. Go on comedy websites (such as Today's Big Fail http://www.todaysbigfail.com/view/20120318 )

18. Find your favourite film and snuggle under a duvet with your favourite film.

19. Reach out to someone and offer them some help.

20. Do a Random Act of Kindness for someone, anyone, that happens to be around. Alternatively, 'pass on' an act of kindness that someone has done to you.

21. Bake fairy cakes and ice them (or bake anything!).

22. Get a huge piece of paper/stick loads of bits together and just throw paint at it, Jackson Pollock style.

23. Take photographs of random things in your flat/house/room, or go for a photo walk.

24. Make a glitter jar/cake in a jar/positive affirmations in a jar.

25. Go on YouTube and watch old people's reactions to Dubstep.

26. Make a 'wellbeing toolbox' - get a shoebox or a bag, decorate it and fill it with things you can turn to when you're feeling overwhelmed, like favourite music, letters you've received from people, little toys/bubbles, sweets etc.

27. Do some gardening, or make an indoor pot of flowers to take care of.

28. Jewellery making...you can buy lovely but cheap beads on ebay

29. Puzzle books..word search, crosswords etc

30. Colouring, you can get cheap books with intricate designs which are totally absorbing

31. Cleaning and tidying...not nice to do, but a sense of achievement when done

32. Paint your nails - you won't be able to use your hands to harm yourself with for a little bit.

33. Be daring - work on your anxieties by facing them and book yourself into a course/activity you've always wanted to try. Take a friend or family member if you can and feel it would help. It will help you expand your interests and even maybe your social circle.

34. Do some exercise... buy a skipping rope or a dance DVD and get going. Exercise releases endorphines, the same chemical that is understood to be released when you self harm.

35. Teach yourself Mindfulness.

36. Organize things. I love things being organized, gives me a sense of control/calm, and distracts me! :)

37. Do a makeover on yourself, or explore different hairstyles, or makeup, clothes, etc!

38. Take pictures outside of flowers you see, or anything really on the ground, make it photogenic :)

39. Make lists. Lists of anything at all!

40. Cuddle your fav teddy bear, feel the texture, focus on it, focus on your breathing, try and relax.

41. Do something silly once a day! Scare someone, make something silly like finger painting, make up your own joke, make a mask, a painting, a portrait of something funny, etc.

42. Make bracelets/necklaces for friends :)

43. Decorate easter eggs

44. Scribble on paper

45. Do a clear out on your PC

46. Light candles & enjoy the smells it releases

47. Take silly pictures of yourself!

48. Play any PC games you have lying around

49. Treat yourself to something nice

50. Have a pamper yourself day!


51. Write letters to people

52. Call a friend and ask them if they want to meet for a coffee/shopping/come round to hang out with you/talk to them on the phone

53. Mess about with your hair. Try out different styling with your hair, or go and buy coloring for your hair, never know, could be awesome! :p

54. Go through old pictures of you as a baby/young child, or any home videos, if it won't be triggering

55. Do online quizzes [do not take them to heart if they are mental health quizzes though!]

56. Clean your room/house - some people enjoy it, too!

57. Sort out your fridge/freezer/cans of food etc, throw out out of date things, rearrange everything, gives you something to do!

58. [I'm crap right now right ideas lol] Last one now - feed the birds outside with some bread, and watch as they come - could be kind of relaxing to watching the birds? Or go to a local pond and feed the ducks! :P



In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.






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Old 14-04-2012, 03:05 PM   #23469
Doikers
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Yeah I'm just chilling now , it was nice to catch up with Hannah, we haven't for about 2 weeks , got in , got my shopping unpacked , trying to rest
The following content has been hidden - Reason : possible trigger
and my nose started to bl**d
, Now I'm drained ....


Last edited by Doikers : 14-04-2012 at 03:06 PM. Reason: typo


I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 14-04-2012, 05:01 PM   #23470
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I have been described by psychiatrists as "borderline" but as far as I know, I'm not diagnosed. I do DBT to help with the traits I do have and it has really really helped so if anyone has any has any questions about it, I'd be happy to answer :3


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Old 14-04-2012, 05:20 PM   #23471
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Hi mh101, I'm really glad DBT has helped you - I understand that for DBT to work you have to work quite hard at the skills they teach you, so well done for doing that.

Mark, sorry you had a nosebleed, go easy on yourself.

Sarah, I love your avatar!

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Old 14-04-2012, 06:34 PM   #23472
Cryptic.
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Thank you Laura :) I love your signature, that quote is really inspirational too. & the picture is beautiful!

How are you doing?

Mark, I'm sorry about the nosebleed, try and chill and rest for the day.

mh101, I'm also glad DBT has helped you, DBT is said to be quite good for BPD.


I'm babysitting my gorgeous Nephew tonight, he's staying over, he's so clever & funny & cuteeee. Always cheers me up, like the sunshine on my rainy days!

Have a nice evening everyone, and I hope you're all going to be as safe as possible. I know nights can be difficult, they seem to be for me, so be gentle on yourselves if you find it particularly difficult, or difficult at all! xxx

Lots of love.
xxxx



In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.






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Old 14-04-2012, 06:38 PM   #23473
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sounds like a good night sarah!





"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"


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Old 14-04-2012, 06:39 PM   #23474
Doikers
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Thanks guys n gals , I suffer from them fairly frequently, I should go to my GP but I don't want poking up my nose.



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 15-04-2012, 03:08 AM   #23475
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*Leaves cuddles for Ferret*

Sarah I love the new sig and avatar :)

Mark glad you had a nice time out with the friend, sorry about the nosebleed though

mh101 glad to hear DBT is helping you

How is everyone?



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 15-04-2012, 10:18 AM   #23476
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hi everyone thanks for the advice after sleeping for most of the day yest and only being up for 6 hours i am gonna hit the library today.

hope everyones ok on this sunny day

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Old 15-04-2012, 11:08 AM   #23477
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Hope it goes okay at the library



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 15-04-2012, 11:56 AM   #23478
youonlyliveonce
 

cheers im going for giving my lit review some structure and correct english rather than notes today.. slowly but surely :)

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Old 15-04-2012, 11:57 AM   #23479
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Good luck with it :)
*Gives cookies so you can keep up your energy*



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 15-04-2012, 12:10 PM   #23480
Doikers
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Have Fun at the Library Youonlyliveonce *Hugs*

Hugs Kat* How are you?

*Hugs Lotti* Thanks for texting me out of bed ;)



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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