My great aunt is dying

[Sketchy]

Just checking to see how you are. I know today is difficult for you.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lorraine. It went as well as can be. There wasn't a church service just basically the minister saying a load of prayers and a elugoy outside my great uncle's grave. The weather was rather hot so it's better than it raining. We had to stand outside for nearly a hour. The voices were really bad because it took so long because in our family the service is in both in Welsh and English. I just tried to focus on translating the Welsh but it was hard when the voices were screaming at me. I had tears in my eyes at one point though.

[Sketchy]

I'm sorry it was so hard for you. Maybe now you can try and take it easy and get some rest.

If the voices are getting worse do you think it would be an idea to talk about it with your doctor or nurse?

[one_step_closer]

Sounds difficult, well done for getting through it. I hope you can do something nice for yourself now.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lorraine and one step closer.

I will talk to the nurse when she comes tomorrow. Hopefully I will be ok then. I had to take diazapam this morning though which is a good thing because it stopped me from reacting to the voices.

I have been using my ipod a lot. Even having the headphones in without any music seems to calm me down.

[one_step_closer]

It's good that you've found something that helps you feel more calm. Keep using all your strategies. Do you have anything planned for the rest of your day?

[not_so_insig]

No I haven't got any plans. I am watching tv and with my parents right now. I keep on falling asleep which gives me relief from the voices. I will be going home later because of the kitties and also because the nurse is coming tomorrow.

[one_step_closer]

I hope your appointment with the nurse goes well.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks one step closer. I am not so good as the voices are still really loud. I am sitting here with the curtains closed due to paranoia.

[Sketchy]

Has the nurse been? Did you speak to her?

[not_so_insig]

No she's not coming until 4.

[Sketchy]

That's not long now. I hope you manage to talk to her ok.

[not_so_insig]

She came. She asked me a few questions and is phoning me tomorrow. She said that if necessary she will get duty to phone me on Friday as neither she or my regular nurse are in then. She said that if I feel bad that either her or my regular nurse will come and visit me next week. She said to carry on doing what I am doing. I said that I am proud of the fact that I haven't SIed, ODED or binged as in the past I wouldn't have lasted that long without harming myself.

[Sketchy]

You should certainly feel proud of yourself for staying safe. I am proud of you and impressed by your strength.

It's good she will visit you again and get duty to phone you. It's important to seek help when needed and you don't have to be alone in this. Well done on telling her.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lorraine. I am glad that she didn't suggest the home treatment team because I hate them. I would rather be IP than have them.

[one_step_closer]

I'm really glad that your nurse was supportive. You have every right to be proud of not turning to harmful coping methods, well done.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks one step closer.

[one_step_closer]

You're welcome. My name is Lindsay, by the way, but you don't have to remember that.

[not_so_insig]

I haven't heard from the nurse yet. I still have the voices but they aren't so strong as yesterday. Hopefully they will go soon.

Another thing that I have done in the past is abuse alcohol when things are bad. I didn't drink last night and although I drank Sunday and Tuesday night it wasn't above normal.

[one_step_closer]

I'm glad the voices have eased a bit. Well done for the way you're coping, it's admirable.