So, after telling my pysch I have been purging up to 55 times a day, She told me my ED was severe & then made me go down to the IP ward to get a physical.... BUT everythings 'fine' my blood pressure is alittle low but the doctor said he doesnt think theres any need for a blood test [WTF?]
I'm so damn p*ssed off.
He said its 'ok' that i 'only' have fainting eposiodes when i havent eaten in almost a week & when i'm dehydrated
Its like, my body is telling them I don't have an ED, but my head is... does that make sense?
I suppose, I'm scared they wont believe anything I say anymore or that I even have a problem
They do believe you hun, they seem to be concerned about you or they wouldn't have sent you any tests. You are ill enough and you do deserve their help and support, don't let this bad experience get you down.
Hugs xxxxxxxx
How could you become as awesome as you are and still feel like a loser?
I agree with beautiful and dying hun, they can see you have a problem cos she sent you for your physical.
Luckily, at the moment your body is ok, but as you say your head is ill with this ED.
It's good that they sent you for tests, and even with good physical results they'll still keep an eye on you.
Please try and remember that they do believe you have a problem and they do believe what you tell them.
Take care xx
I... took laxatives again, not as many as I wanted though, but I have an exam tomorrow =/ & I... just dont know, I want to look ill, I never want to eat again. I want the blood tests (when I do get them at the GP surgery), to tell me there something wrong... I can't be doing all this, & nothing is coming out of it.
Last edited by craola : 13-05-2008 at 06:10 PM.
Reason: Removed number of laxatives due to tipsharing
Something is coming out of it though hun. Your body may not be that ill, yet, but your head is. Your thinking is messed up cos of the ED, and you're lucky that your body isn't so bad right now.
I don't know your weight/BMI etc but I imagine it's fairly low too.
It's good that you didn't take the full pack of laxatives hun, please be careful with them.
You might not want to eat anything, but please try and eat a little bit, even if it's just drinking a smoothie or something?
*huge hugs*
Helen sweetie...
I love you.
Please don't try to make yourself worse.
Hang on in there!!!
xxx
Well content loves the silence, It thrives in the dark, With fine winding tendrils,That strangle the heart,
They say that promises sweeten the blow, But I don't need them, No, I don't need them...
I love you Helen, lots and lots. you're ED is trying to make sicker, physically and emotionally. I'm so glad your tests came back ok today, but I know from experiance, it can change VERY rapidly. Of course they believe you, that's why you were there 4 hours today sweetheart, they're concerned about you, like i am. I'm so glad though you admitted to them the amount you're purging, that's a big step, really well done- I urge you to keep trying to talk to them more. I can understand where you're coming from where you want your ED to make you physically unwell, but it doesn't have to, it really doesn't have to destroy you.
'cause I love you & all. =]
xxx
I know how bad it can make you feel being told that you are so called 'fine' when you KNOW for a fact that your head has a serious problem. But remember, although your ED likes to tell you it's bad that you haven't got any serious health problems it's NOT TRUE!! Keep letting them know your progress so they can monitor you won't you? I wouldn't want anything to happen to you. Take care
Lyssie x
FORMERLY THE_ONLY_REASON
"The things we thought would kill us made us stronger cos we're not dead"
Thank you so much everyone, I love you all *kisses & roses for all*
I will keep letting them know how i'm getting on =)
Its just so confusing, one minute i have my psych telling me i have a severe ED & then the next i have a doctor telling me my bodys 'fine'
I just start to beleive my psych & then I have a physcial & it all goes down the drain. I dont know what to beleive.
Its not that, thats important.
The point of this is to hurt myself, (& loose weight, obviously) physcialy.
& It just upset me that its not 'working' I feel like people are lying to me, telling me i'm ill when theres no physical evidence for that. Well there is, but there wasnt in the examination thingy today.
does that make sense?
I didn't see your last post, sorry, it does make sense hun, but I wish you'd take care :\ you're worth so much more than this and I want you to be well xxxx
Yes, I am =)
I'll mention this when I'm there next week <3
But tomorrow, I really just want to fast & not eat anything & not drink anything.
I have to go out for a meal on thursday anyway, so one day isnt going to hurt =/
I'm utterly hung over and useless right now, but I want you to know I love you, please please stay safe and look after yourself.
*worries*
I shall come back tomorroand add something more helpful sweety
*big cuddles*
look after yourself, I know it's hard when you're feeling so lost right now but please try
xxxxx
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
I agree with everyone huni, your ED is severe no matter what the docs said yest. Keep talking about your feelings to the therapist, try not to bottle them up =].
I have an exam today too, biopsychology arghh lol! I hope yours goes ok =] Please don't fast tho, your body needs food to gain nutrition, not eating until the meal on thur is a really long time to go without. Having something about an hour before the exam will make you feel so much better physically, and help with your concentraition and memory.
Duno if you will read this now before you go to your exam but hope everything goes ok, i bet youll do great. =] What is your exam on? Mine starts at 9:15 arghhh lol!.
Your body may not be showing the signs yet, but your mind it, as very soon these things WILL take their toll on your body. By purging 55 times a day, you WILL make yourself really, really poorly and the problems will probably hit all at once hunni.
Sorry I'm not any more use.
Please take care, the danger you are putting your body through is immense and it will take it's toll soon.... but it might be too late?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
How did your exam go honey? I know you don't need the stress on top of everything but to perform best you really will need some energy from one form or another. Please be strong and fight this, you're a good, caring person and you don't need to hurt yourself. There's enough people in the world to do it for you, not you personally, but generally. You don't need to add to that.
Cuddles and roses back
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
How could you become as awesome as you are and still feel like a loser?
