Am really scared this weekend. The police finally arrested my Dad for stalking me but told me that he will be let out tomorrow on bail.
Am so scared that he will come and hurt me for getting him arrested.
I know the police will come if he does but I'm so frightened to go out or do anything.
Am having really bad nightmares and flashback and just need it all to stop. Have been having really vivid suicidal thoughts and have everything planned out - but that will be letting him win when I'm nearly there. Not sure how long it will take to go to court.
Just dont know if I can keep going
I can understand why you'd be so worried, sweetheart. Is there anyone who can stay with you for a while so you feel safer, and keep the police number with you? I'm really proud of you for telling the police and speaking out, that was so brave of you! And in time, you will feel better for it. I too was scared when I spoke out about my abuse and I was scared my abuser would be angry with me. But I promise you, the feelings do subside and you have been very brave to do this :) Are you able to keep your mind distracted at night against the nightmares? Do you have any grounding techniques for the flashbacks too? Stay safe lovely and well done again :)
Have you a mobile hun?
Keep it with you at all times - it might be a small comfort to you, but atleast if anything was to happen (which i'm sure it won't hun) you have your mobile there to phone the police.
Is there anyone you can stay with? A friend or relative? It might make you feel a bit safer in someone elses company.
Keep your chin up hun, and you're right - don't let him win.
massive hugs coming your way
xx
Have had a really bad night -am so frightened. Spent a lot of the night on the bathroom floor curled up!
The doors are locked and curtains drawn and the police have rang to say that he has been let out on bail.
I keep thinking that I can see his car outside - and I can hear his voice so clearly, mocking me and calling me - he sounds so angry!!
I have the police number and they have said that they will keep in contact.
I just need this to be over - thankyou for your replies - they have given me strength and made me see that I'm not on my own and other people have got through this.
A friend is coming to stay tonight and tomorrow night so I wont be on my own. Have just got to manage until later
My friend didn't come round - she said that she had an upset tummy.
I was really hoping that she would and was coping until then - now I'm all over the place.
The voice in my head is so loud and mocking me, goading - telling me what he is going to do to me now that he is free again - encouraging me to hurt myself and telling me that I'm dirty and trashy and noone is there for me. I smashed a glass earlier and really struggled not to hurt myself.
Not sure I'm going to make it through the night - not sure I even want to - I've had enough and I'm so scared that I daren't even go out of my front door.
I rang the crisis team earlier and they told me to bargain with the voices and to go out for a walk - I dont think they were listening.
Cant do this anymore - I've had enough
Didn't bother going to bed and dozed downstairs for a bit.
Went out to take the dogs for a quick walk this morning and a silver car came up the road - I just panicked! I couldn't move, everything froze and then I passed out. Some people came to help me and I felt really stupid - but I'm back home now and am all over the place.
Have had enough!
I need some advice - has anyone been through a court case for sexual abuse from childhood?
The police came round today and they are charging my Dad with stalking me and harrassment. They know that he sexually abused me as a child and has been inappropriate sexually over the past few years.
They want me to make a statement so that he can be charged for all the offences.
I'm just so scared that I'm not sure I am strong enough to go there - my self harm is really bad at the moment, nightmares and flashbacks are horrendous and I really dont want to be here anymore - this will just make me worse. However he needs to pay for what he has done to me. AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH its so hard.
Is it worth it???? I just want it to be over.
I've got another kidney infection and feel really ill - my water work infections stem back to the sbuse I suffered as a child - I am so scarred and my kidneys dont work properly. It seems that I have all the pain - maybe I do need to give it back to him???
I've been through the whole court thing, but I'm in the US so depending on where you are it could be very different.
What happened was I started making statements when I moved out. It was easier to do it then. They took all the medical records of everything I'd been 'sick' with and all the physical damage that I'd needed to have fixed and they talked with my therapist at the time. It will really help if you call the police EVERY TIME he comes near you or calls you.
It was the hardest thing I ever did. Well, not really, but it was one of the hardest things ever. I still struggle with whether or not it was the right thing to do, but it was the best thing to do to keep me safe.
Please, I know it's really hard, or at least it was for me, to talk to the police, but try your best. Please go and be honest. If you need to, you can practice, write out questions and answers on index cards so you get used to answering. You can get a friend to go with you, and if you want them to the police can have a support worker with you.
Feel free to pm me if you've got any questions. I know that I did not go into any real detail here, but I'd be willing to talk to you.
I'm no expert on this, but i know that if it had of happened to me, i wouldn't want it to happen to anybody else. I know it's hard to go through, but think of the greater good. He will be away from you, and away from hurting other people.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time with this. I just wanted to tell you that i think you are incredibly brave.
[x]
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