being "tested"

[melting_snow]

Gone.

[Cersei]

*hugs*

You have every right to be angry and upset about this. What she has done is not right and not at all funny.

Is there someone you can talk to this about?

[sherlock holmes]

If she touched you sexually without your permission then she sexually assaulted you. You have every right to be angry and upset and to be honest she doesnt sound like a friend at all.

I agree with Cersia is there anyone you can talk to? Would you consider going to the police?

I would definitely have a long think about your friendship with her, personally I'd never see her again. But if you want to see her again then definitely dont get in a situation where you'd be alone and dont share a bed again as she's likely to keep trying to touch you.

[susieannah]

Could you send her an e-mail or letter explaining how you are feeling? That you are very disappointed and upset that she didn't accept your answer, and that she then pushed it by "testing" you at night, on more than one occasion.

As mentioned above, careful consideration of your friendship is probably needed here. I'm sorry she did this to you, it was unkind of her.

*hugs*

[Steel Maiden]

She's not a good friend at all if she sexually assaulted you. Tell her that she stops or else you will stay away from her for good.

[melting_snow]

Hi all


Thanks so much for your kind responses.

I haven't spoken to her since it happened. She has been trying to call me on my mobile and my house phone, but I haven't answered. I don't want I talk to her at the moment.

Today I saw a counsellor at uni. I've been seeing her for a couple of months now. I originally went because my sister was sexually assaulted by her sperm donor and it is going to court next year. I was very very distressed about it and it brought back all sorts of horrible memories from when I was... Coerced into sex and I was smelling him and fainting and all kinds of weird things.

I was ranted about my car and told her it had cost me £500 last week cos some selfish b****** scratched it FIVE TIMES and it also failed its mot. She asked me about suicidal thoughts because she said I seem so low and I said I have had some but I didn't think I would act on them. She asked what my plan was. Then it came out like word vomit. I told her it wasn't just my car, but that my friend had stayed over and had, on two occassions, touched me intimately.

She said C sounds extremely abusive and I found myself defending C's actions. I don't know why. I was saying she's a nice person really and she probably didn't realise what she was doin and blah blah blah. I KNOW she knew what she was doing, so why I felt the need to defend her I do not know.

I'm starting to think that maybe I have 'VIOLATE ME' tattooed across my forehead, that maybe I was just put here to be taken advantage of and for people to use.

The counsellor was great about it but part of me feels like I should just have kept my mouth shut and should just get over it.

[Lindsey]

I have a friend very much like C myself.

I liked a guy last year and she knows about the abuse I've suffered and how difficult it is for me to even think about starting a relationship. She knew I liked him and she slept with him. She is 25 and has slept with 50+ men.

When she's drunk she thinks its acceptable to 'jokingly' grab at me and try and kiss me. The things she does and the things she says, all of my other friends absolutely hate her and think she's completely vile.

But I tend to have an attitude of:
Me: "J did this and I'm so angry and she's such a b***h"
Other friend: "Oh yeah she is SUCH a b***h"
Me: "Hey, she's my friend. Don't call her that."

I think I hang on to the good memories (few and far between) and I'm concious of the fact we've been friends for 6 years and I don't want to throw that away even though she makes me miserable.

Maybe the distance between you is a good thing.

[susieannah]

I'm glad you managed to talk to your counsellor about it. Do you feel a bit better for getting it out and having some reassurance that what she did was unacceptable? *hugs*