When I was readmitted to the unit my inpatient psychiatrist said he'd thought of me in my three month absence and that he'd gone to see a play and wanted to forward the flyer of it to me.
He said he didn't because it was called 'Fat Girl Crying'
Nice thing to say to a girl with an ED.
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?" - Alice, Alice in Wonderland
♥
(When I was crying about something)
"How does that make you feel?"
Geez, doesn't the fact I'm crying give away I'm feeling, well, sad?
"Did you color your hair?"
"Nope!" (My own haircolor is light-blond, the one she saw was bright red/purpleish)
"Are you sure? I think it looks different"
"Well! That was kinda dumb question to begin with, dont you think?"
Tell me that past times won't die.
Tell me that old lies are alive.
today she kept yelling at me, saying I'm not making an effort to get better and that I'm not doing anything.
One hour later, she said "why do you keep being agressive? nobody here is atacking you!"
I like to think of things optimistically. While my psych asked for feedback regarding my medications, I told her the few negative points, then went on to end on a good note and reel off the positives. I started to bring up the good points when she interupted in a pretty patronising way, rolled her eyes and came up with "well, you should know that there's not a miracle drug that exists out there that will cure everything without side effects..."
Everything passes, everything changes. Just do what you think you should do.
Also had the on duty psych in hospital after an OD tell me there was no point admitting me because the psych ward was more like a youth hostel and if I wanted to kill myself in there the nurses wouldn't do anything to stop me =/
I used to long for broken bones
I used to long for a casket to call my own.
my internet acces isn't very consistant so I apoligise if it takes me a while to reply to anyone
I just saw someone for the second time today and we had a lovely conversation- after she shockingly told me she was a Muggle and could not fix me with a magic wand, we agreed on how terrible Muggle transit is, and how the Floo Network needs to be more widely used...
Just thinking of what a nurse said to me and my brothers when my mum was in hospital unconscious after an OD.... he said 'this is serious you know'.....NEVER! The fact that our mother is hooked up to a drip unconscious doesnt make that at all obvious....
I like the 1-10 scale thing except I try and remember scales relative to each other....which gets hard when you try and remember how you rated years ago......
It reminds me of when i was in hospital for a od and everyone after was telling me, how that could have killed me and how they weren't messing about. I was like i know i was hooked to a drip for god knows how long! I know what they meant though.
I was woken up for following morning to say see holding a big bowl and asked if i wanted a bath, i refused but i was dying to say ' Just mentally ill here, i can use my legs to walk to the toilet' . I was wheeled everywere by trolley.. and i was like i can use my legs.. i thought i could until i nearly fell flat on my face the day before trying to walk about 5 meters from the trolley to the ward bed lol.
Today my therapist asked me how much I was 'there' on a scale of 0-100. I misunderstood and thought he wanted to know how much I was dissociated and told him 40. Then I placed my food on the appropriate spot on my 'scale' and then we were both confused.
lol
I was sitting in the waiting area with something to squeeze in each hand and he wanted to shake my hand. he said 'oh you can't.. something in each hand.'
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
My therapist commented that I looked anxious... I was shaking, fidgeting, stammering, wouldn't make eye contact and was trying to leave early. I know she was trying to be nice but it just made me smile.
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I was inpatient and my regular psych was away so I had to see another one for the week I walked in and sat down and first thing he said was "...I really like your shoes." I thanked him and he introduced himself and everything then he said "...seriously where did you get those shoes...they have leather and skulls and everything on them." Apparently he was really into goth and punk up until university so we ended up talking about music and clothes and stuff for the whole session :p It was totally unproductive but much more fun than an ordinary session...
"Some people get by, with a little understanding. Some people get by, with a whole lot more."
Many of these have made me smile, having heard similar things before! My last psychiatrist brought up my self harm and then later asked if I did to to try and kill myself. Seriously? We JUST discussed it...And because of that stupid question, I will never go back to her. My therapist isn't aware that I have lied about going back
Also, her nurse's assistant sits in her chair with her back to you as you weigh yourself and tell her the number
.gif "rollfloor")
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
