Im so scared. I want so much to do it, but im scared.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : trigger
Then why don't you do it?because if its about your mom, you hate her and you want her to pay for her mistake, so why do you care so much?unless you are a chicken and you are afraid to do it, you afraid of what will happen to yourself.
no, im not a chicken, i will do it.
think about the result.
i will do it. nothing wrong is gonna happen to me. but im scared so much.
why the hell are you scared?
arghhhhhh
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
Hunny
I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish.
Is there anything in particular making you want to Si right now?
Not hurting yourself makes you a much stronger person than hurting yourself because it is harder to fight the urges than to give in. Please don't give in.
*massive hugs*xxxx
but i feel like i have to do it. if i don't, i will be a chicken. the voice in my head (its in my head, its my thought or whatever) will say that im chicken if i don't do it.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
hun, don't listen to it, it is lying to you.
It'd be so much braver of you to not do it.
Is there anything you could do that could work as distraction?
xxx
it wasn't exactly a voice, but like i was talking to myself in the third person.it was so weird. i don't know. i have to do it but im scared...i don't want to be called a chicken.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
my mom's mistake is that she made me. she shouldn't have.
its not a voice, its like me talking to myself. and if i don't do it, me will tell me that im chicken.
if i keep fighting for tonight, what about tomorrow?i wasn't gonna do this today, but tomorrow.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
hunny, i understand about referring to yourself in the third person completely. I do this aswell. Have you tried grounding yourself? Like making a hot drink and thinking about every step of the process ie- I'm lifting the kettle, i'm filling the kettle etc.
You've got to show the part of you that wants to hurt that part that wants to stay safe is stronger, even if it doesn't feel like that.
Your mum making you was definitely not a mistake- you're a good person, i've seen how you help other people on this forum, and we all care about you.
What exactly are you planning on doing tomorrow, hun?
*hugs*
xxx
im planning for once to SI, without thinking about the consequences. because every time i SI, i think about what other people will say and not what i want to do, and this has to stop.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
Everyday is a battle, and you will win the war! You just have to keep fighting this and it will go away over time.. its never going to be easy but you will become stronger knowing that you defeated it!
If you look into my eyes... you will see what I fear the most..
My big sis: yoursmiledoesn'tfoolme
Brother from another mother: majik67
i'm not really sure i can help, but i know that every time i want to hurt myself, the feeling is going to go away eventually. after that feeling is gone, its either you are left with a scar or you arent left with anything, maybe feeling slightly unsatisfied.. but if you do give in, and you do cut, then you always have to carry that scar, and that definately doesn't make these feelings any better.
this process is cyclical; the more you cut, the worse you feel about yourself, and the more you want to cut again. so really, being strong is stopping this process. i know that i don't know you personally, i know that you don't deserve to put yourself through this. its like a drug; its hard to quit, but things will get better, even if you don't think they should..
You do help people sweetie, i've seen you helping lots of people on these forums.
Like secretsquirl said, everyday is a battle and you can get through this.
It's good that you think about the consequences, it honestly is. I'm sorry i can't help much, i'm not in a great place right now, but please, please PM me if you want to talk.
*hugs* xxxx
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. she stopped me again!! I went to the bathroom and was so damn ready to do it and she told me not to do anything wrong.arghhhhhhh. i couldn't do it after she had told me not to do anything bad.i hate her. she always does that. i wish she would die. she stopped me again. she has done it before. i hate her. i SIed just a little, but it wasn't so bad to need stitches. i Sied so much, it was a relief, but it could have been better if it needed stitches. im so angry at her. i will do it better next time. now i feel like a chicken. i am a chicken. i didn't do what i was telling myself to, im chicken. i hate me.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
you're not a failure, SI doesn't prove anything, really it doesn't your pain is just as valid as someone who cuts off their whole leg. no one thinks you're chicken. i understand being angry with your mum, i feel the same so many times. i'm sorry you cut today *hugs* xxx
Sweetie, getting stitches is not a nice thing. I had to get twenty today- i spent almost all day in A&E and it can be an uncomfortable experience. My arm hurts like hell now aswell.
I completely understand why you are angry with your mum, 100%. But honestly, it's only because she cares about you. If she didn't love you she wouldn't care if you were going to hurt yourself. I understand how hard these feelings must be for you, could you maybe talk to your mum? Maybe try and explain that she is being to over protective by checking up on you?
Hun, i am so so jealous of you being able to stop before you need stitches even if you think that it is failure because it ISNT. To be completely honest, i think that being able to stay in control of your SI shows that you are a very strong person.
Please take care xxxx
