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Old 08-03-2020, 11:39 PM   #21
MissGranger
 
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Thanks. Basically going out on leave is the only positive.

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Old 08-03-2020, 11:52 PM   #22
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What about things staff say or do, no matter how small that helps when youíre youíre upset? Iím glad leave feels positive.





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Old 09-03-2020, 07:24 AM   #23
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They don't really do anything. That's the problem.

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Old 09-03-2020, 07:39 AM   #24
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I think I remember you mentioning a couple of times when a member of staff has made a bit of time to talk to you, and a time they helped you use the TIPP skill - could you count those?





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Old 09-03-2020, 08:05 AM   #25
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Yeah I guess so

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Old 09-03-2020, 12:08 PM   #26
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Got rid my psychologist so I'm pleased about that

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Old 09-03-2020, 02:47 PM   #27
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When you say you got rid of your psychologist, what happened?





It's a long way down
On this rollercoaster.



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Old 09-03-2020, 05:39 PM   #28
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I basically refused to see her again

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Old 09-03-2020, 05:50 PM   #29
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Low on words tonight, but sending love. I hope you can come to a resolution with your psychologist because in the past I think she has been very helpful?







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Old 09-03-2020, 07:25 PM   #30
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Thank you. She has before but not this time. I'm not really bothered anyway I've got bigger things to be thinking about

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Old 10-03-2020, 06:31 PM   #31
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Do you want to tell us about those bigger things?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 10-03-2020, 10:02 PM   #32
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Like finding my friend dead

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Old 10-03-2020, 11:12 PM   #33
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I’m not sure how to word this in a way that you won’t take badly tbh. I was wondering whether focusing on that awful experience is helpful to your recovery though? I genuinely understand how difficult it is and the conflicting emotion (having had an almost identical experience on a ward in 2009), but is focusing on that helping you or your friend at this moment? I’m not saying don’t think about her or that you shouldn’t be upset etc but perhaps another way to honour her memory might be to focus on improving how you’re currently feeling so that you can get to a place where you have the life she won’t be able to and/or can advocate (if that’s what you want) for other people in that situation?





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Old 11-03-2020, 12:34 AM   #34
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Plus, it might be that some therapy re finding your friend is useful but whilst you’re struggling to work with psychology etc and still struggling so much in general with how you’re feeling, it’s unlikely they will want to address that with you x





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Old 11-03-2020, 09:04 AM   #35
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No cause this place can't make me better and I have to fight for justice for my friend and her family's sake.

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Old 11-03-2020, 10:53 AM   #36
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Maybe hospital can make you significantly more well so then you can continue with proper recovery in the community. Who else is fighting justice for your friend and her family? This isn't really your responsibility while you're trying to get well yourself. That could be another reason to try and work through hospital so you can do something in the community.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 11-03-2020, 06:49 PM   #37
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It can't. It is my responsibility, I was the one who found her.

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Old 11-03-2020, 07:13 PM   #38
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One of the first things I have been told about social justice and advocacy in general is that you need to take care of your own needs first.



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 11-03-2020, 07:49 PM   #39
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You have to get well and home to advocate for her and her family though.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 11-03-2020, 08:32 PM   #40
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I don't care about myself.

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