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Old 30-10-2020, 07:59 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: British Columbia
Self-harm as a new way to cope during covid...

Hello everyone,
I am absolutely new here and almost new to self-harm, which of course I am not proud of and would like to quit. But somehow, during covid, my emotions are exacerbated and out of control and I guess cutting makes me feel like at least I can control this, I can survive the next day if I survive the pain, etc. — I imagine you know the drill...
I am looking for resources, support groups, anything to help me cope better and disengage with this behavior. Every time I have an "episode," I feel good for a few minutes and regret it immediately as I realize what I have done.
I know I am not alone, but I feel old (35...) and helpless. I guess I am posting this first message ever to an online forum in the hopes that something positive will come out of it.
Thanks for reading, and for replying if you want.

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Old 30-10-2020, 04:50 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2019
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i have no words right now but i'll give you hugs if thats ok with you <3
*hugs you*

just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….

Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 31-10-2020, 10:39 AM   #3
I always have a choice
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Safety Cupboard
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Hello there, welcome to RYL!

Well done for reaching out for help, I can imagine that was a bit scary. First off, it might sound a bit silly but before covid how did you manage your emotions? I know you’ve said that your emotions are perhaps stronger than before but I’m wondering if there’s some useful coping strategies that you might not realise could be adapted to help you manage now.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? If not, maybe a helpline would be a useful ‘in the moment’ resource for managing crisis moments. I used to call the Samaritans when I was overwhelmed and about to self harm and generally I found that helpful just to be able to talk and I would continue talking until I’d cleared away the dangerous items.

My favourite resource in terms of distractions is this (I know it’s aimed at a younger audience but I think it’s still useful):

The person who made the above thingy also has a recent blog post and I haven’t actually watched the videos myself but she’s generally pretty good so it might be worth a look:

Good luck and please do keep posting here if it would help to share a bit more of what’s going on for you at the moment :)

We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult

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Old 01-11-2020, 02:11 PM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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I am sorry tohear you self-harming, often the best thing that gets me through is music, just put your favourite records either through a stereo on your mobile and play it much as much as you like and on youtube/spotify you will find lots of bands/artists you haven't heard of. it could help with the self harm urges. If not have you got now tv, amazon prime or netfflix subscription, there's a load of gems on there that you would love to watch.

Perhaps have a look on amazon and see if you can order yourself something you like to do.

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 01-11-2020, 02:30 PM   #5
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: London-ish
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Welcome to the forums.

It's totally understandable what you've said there - we're living in very stressful times right now.

It's good that you know you're not alone with this but I just wanted to mention that most of us here are older (late 20s or early to mid 30s). I don't know if it's helpful to know that or not, I just wanted to point it out.

When you recognise that you want to cut, is there anything you think you could do to step in and stop it happening? It can be slow here sometimes but there is the Distractions forum and usually someone around to chat with to distract until the feelings pass.

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