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Old 04-10-2020, 02:18 PM   #121
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There could be a million reasons why your friend hasn’t opened his/her messages like what not_so_insig said. Even from the plain obvious such lack of credit, no internet, low mobile data, not having time, can’t find charger to forgotten password, broken phone, tablet or laptop.o



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 04-10-2020, 02:57 PM   #122
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Or even time zone differences may be the cause. As is the case you're in the USA, it has more than one time zone so even if they're in the USA too doesn't mean that they're in the same time zone. Even here it may be a problem as the majority of members here are in the UK and don't tend to respond after 10 pm UK time. What may be 5 pm in your part of the USA may be 2 am Uk time. That saying the majority of your posts have been before 10 pm UK time.

In short there may be multiple reasons why they didn't respond straight away and not because they don't care/rejecting you.


Last edited by not_so_insig : 04-10-2020 at 03:16 PM.


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Old 04-10-2020, 04:48 PM   #123
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wow! i didnt know that!!



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Old 04-10-2020, 04:51 PM   #124
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomegranate View Post
When you reached out to people saying you wanted to die, what would you have liked to happen?
i really dont know.....



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Old 04-10-2020, 04:58 PM   #125
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How do you tho k your friend would feel receiving that email?
i dont know..... i just wanted to say goodbye to her......... =(



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Old 04-10-2020, 05:06 PM   #126
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Quote:
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You mentioned that you just want to die. Surely posting on an support website means that part of you wants to live? Hold onto that part. Reach out. Talk to the group home staff.

If your friend or anyone else you're in contact with online doesn't respond straight away it doesn't automatically mean that they're ignoring you/rejection. They may be sick, have Internet access problems, have device problems, be asleep, be in work/school etc. Or simply haven't checked their emails. I have a friend who takes 3 days to respond to my texts it doesn't mean she doesnt care she has other pressures in rl. I dont get frustrated with her though or send potentially disturbing messages.
RYL is my safe place its the one place i have that i can be me......im sorry i cant reach out to the group home staff.......
oh.. i didnt think of that.... im sorry....
i wasnt frustrated with her though...... im sorry



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Old 04-10-2020, 05:10 PM   #127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yoyogirl View Post
There could be a million reasons why your friend hasnít opened his/her messages like what not_so_insig said. Even from the plain obvious such lack of credit, no internet, low mobile data, not having time, canít find charger to forgotten password, broken phone, tablet or laptop.o
oh i didnt think of those im sorry......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...Ö.


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
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Old 04-10-2020, 05:15 PM   #128
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i keep thinking of ways to die but everything that i think of has a percentage of me being alive.......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...Ö.


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
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Old 04-10-2020, 06:39 PM   #129
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Just an thought, if you were to die how do you feel knowing that there will be an inquiry? That the group home staff will be disciplined and potentially lose their jobs? Their job is to keep you safe and they would be failing in that respect. I know that you say that you can't speak to the staff but surely at least one is tolerable? If you don't want them to get into shit then staying alive is the best way.



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"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
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Old 04-10-2020, 08:10 PM   #130
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not good at all..........

they are all preety much the same..... they would all tell the boss and then he would probraly kick me out of the group home because its against the rules to be suicideal or take away the laptop from me.....



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...Ö.


Am I a failure from birth
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Old 04-10-2020, 08:24 PM   #131
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For what it's worth, there's a reason doing things like posting suicide or goodbye notes are against the rules on here. It's because that's considered emotional blackmail and inappropriate to do to other members.

It sounds like you need professional support. There's only so much we can do on RYL. If the group home isn't meeting your needs, then maybe it is a good idea to tell them what's really going on so they can find somewhere else for you to be that can better provide care more tailored to you.

If you are your own guardian, then it's up to you to advocate for yourself and for your needs. We can't do that for you, but there are plenty of steps and suggestions you've gotten on here for how to do that.

If for now you're stuck being alive, then you might as well take some risks to reach out to people that can actually give you some help. If you're still set on being dead, then at least you know you've actually tried to do something else first.

That said, I don't know the rules of your group home but chances are if you voice suicidal thoughts or feelings, it's their duty to get you more intense help and support. If they kick you out, it's not to do with punishment but to do with the fact that ethically and legally they are bound to keep you safe. If they aren't equipped to handle the needs of someone who is suicidal, then they're going to refer you to someone or somewhere that is.



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Old 04-10-2020, 08:46 PM   #132
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im sorry.... i didnt mean to break the rules here.......

i dont know..... i have a therpist but i really dont like or trust her..... the group that im in now is the best group home ive been to so far and i really dont want to go anywhere esle out fear that another group home would be worse then this current group home.......

i know... im sorry....

i dont think i can reach out.....

it feels like pushishment though.........



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...Ö.


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
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Old 04-10-2020, 09:29 PM   #133
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I'm not saying you broke the rules here. I'm saying that there's a reason that kind of stuff is against the rules - because it's not fair to do to other people.

Just because something FEELS like punishment in the moment doesn't mean it actually is. Sometimes things that are meant to be for the best can be really hard and feel horrible, but actually be good things, and in this case trying to keep someone alive and safe might be one of those things that feels horrible and feels like punishment but is not. Or getting someone more help if they express suicidal ideation/thoughts might feel like punishment but is actually not.

If you like the group home where you are and want to stay there, then it sounds like you need to work on trusting and working with the staff there instead of just saying they don't understand and writing them off. They can't understand what's going on or how to help if you don't communicate with them and advocate for your needs.



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Old 04-10-2020, 09:39 PM   #134
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im sorry.....

oh.. ok

i dont want them to be brothered by me though but i'll try...


Last edited by Darkwings44 : 04-10-2020 at 09:41 PM. Reason: added more to it


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...Ö.


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
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Old 05-10-2020, 02:06 AM   #135
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I think it’s important to try and speak to the staff. You won’t be ‘kicked out’ for having feelings or thoughts. Those aren’t easy to control. They are there to help you access appropriate support so use that resource! I know it’s not easy but that’s your best chance of getting suitable and helpful support. I get you don’t want to go to a worse home but if the alternative is death then surely it’s worth the risk of opening up? You’re more likely to be transferred if you act without utilising the support on offer. I get it’s hard but you have the power atm- use it hun.





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Old 06-10-2020, 03:54 AM   #136
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Also i know that i have suggested it before but an advocate is a really good idea. They can voice your concerns about if you open up then you are scared that you will be transferred to another home. They can help you access the most appropriate care which you dont seem to be getting.

If you say that you cannot talk to the staff have you tried an helpline? They will be able to help you in a way which ryl/your friend cannot. I know you said in another post in gsa you don't have an phone but some helplines here have either email/instant message facilities as well as traditional phone numbers. It may be worth googling to see if such facilities exist in your country/state. It may mean you get an instant response which you seem to want which ryl cannot provide. Failing that you could always get out and call an helpline from an public phone.



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"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
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Old 06-10-2020, 05:02 PM   #137
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ill try......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...Ö.


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
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Old 06-10-2020, 05:04 PM   #138
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomegranate View Post
I think itís important to try and speak to the staff. You wonít be Ďkicked outí for having feelings or thoughts. Those arenít easy to control. They are there to help you access appropriate support so use that resource! I know itís not easy but thatís your best chance of getting suitable and helpful support. I get you donít want to go to a worse home but if the alternative is death then surely itís worth the risk of opening up? Youíre more likely to be transferred if you act without utilising the support on offer. I get itís hard but you have the power atm- use it hun.
i'll try..



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...Ö.


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
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Old 06-10-2020, 05:10 PM   #139
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yesterday was HELL!!!!!!!!!!! i couldnt get on the laptop because i didnt wake (i wasnt feeling good) up on time and the staff took away it from me for the day and i was allready feeling overwelmed and ended up punching the wall of my room (it didnt have a hole so it wasnt damaged bad though)



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...Ö.


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
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Old 06-10-2020, 10:15 PM   #140
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Why do they take laptop away for waking up late?





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