Hi Emmy. Welcome to the site. You don't have to do this alone, well done for reaching out. =)
I'm sorry you're struggling though. Hope you managed to make it through the urge last night.
Do you have anyone IRL to reach out to? Are there any distractions that have worked in the past? Games, art, youtube, music? Exercise, yoga?
There's the Distractions board here too and probably a massive list of different distractions that people have compiled over the years there too, there's also an arcade and a thread in General Chat for random and lighthearted chatter if that might help.