Contains abuse - I can't continue like this
I feel like i can't do it anymore.
I have been struggling with suicide for four years, but I can't find the will to do it... It has only gotten worst, I self harm and it recently has gotten out of hand.
The only reason I am alive is because of my little brother, but I feel like I am just postponing death.
I feel down most of the time, and there is a boy that i hear and sometimes see that is constantly speaking bad things to me, and he doesn't shut up. He makes me paranoid, but I talked with my therapist and he told me it was completely normal, but he has been louder than usual and hard to ignore. He tells me to self harm and I do other stuff, and I don't know if it is normal, or how to shut him up.
Recently, A memory came back to me, I think something triggered tje memory, but I remembered my grandpa touching me unnapropiately when I was little (about 8 years old), it is still a bit unclear, but I been having nightmares about that, and I just don't know how to handle that.
I think that was my final straw