Ok well I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and he's very aware of my eating disorder. The thing is, I've always been uncomfortable about other people touching me (especially my stomach area) as well as putting my weight on other people (as in sitting on their lap, etc). I don't like the idea of them being able to feel my "fat" and stuff.
I've slowly got used to him hugging me and that, but he said the other day about how it really annoyed him. This then annoyed me because I felt he was belittling my problem and fears. I know they are irrational but they are still a major thing to me and with him saying that made me feel angry at him as well as selfish and really crap about myself.
Hun, I had exactly the same problem with my last boyfriend. It can be hard for other people to understand our anxieties, as they ARE irrational and our partners can see that and get annoyed with it, whereas we know we just have to put up with it. Do you know if there are any other things behind this? Physical touch makes up a big part of relationships, and that can make it hard when we go through phases where touch is harder to handle. How do you feel if you are say sitting on the sofa watching a movie or something with you cuddling up next to him and his arm round you? Would that be ok? I'm sorry things are like this right now, I know exactly how you feel though.
Hugs
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years and my discomfort with my body has over that time often been an issue.
I think it helped me to look at it from his persepctive sometime. To remember that even when i saw fat and horridness he actually didnt and he was attracted to me or he would have left.
Dont know if that helps
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
----
my boyfriends the same, he even got annoyed with today as im having a bad day and he said to me that i either stop acting like a child with this ED crap or i can leave!!
thing is men dont seem to understand thats its not something we can just stop just like that, so i guess the only way they can deal with it is through anger
I can totally relate with this. I HATE my stomach being touched, especially when I'm lay on my side and there is a flabby bit at the bottom and he chooses to caress it or something. The thing is, they like us for who we are. If they wanted us to change then they wouldn't be with us, this is what attracts them to us whether we like it or not. I know it's hard but sometimes you have to try and let go of it and allow it. He won't be doing this to hurt you. x
I was like this with my boyfriend. I still am a bit but with time I've gotten to relax a hell of a lot around him. It can get better. Relax, take it slow, try telling him how you feel and know that he must like you as you are, if he wants to cuddle up and stuff.
xx
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
I definitely do. We've been together 3 years and he knows pretty much everything about me. We are both very intimate but yet I feel uncomfortable being naked around him unless I'm having a 'good' day. Also, sometimes he massages my legs and touches my thighs or my arms and squeezes and I can't enjoy it because I feel like he's pinching a handful of fat. So I pull away.
