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Old Yesterday, 07:45 PM   #1221
one_step_closer
The Shadow of the Day
 
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

I am very grateful I have people to help me with difficult things. I just feel like it's wrong that I'm an adult, although I'm sure lots of people don't feel like proper adults.

I write in my diary every day and sometimes copy things out to give to my CPN when I see her. Sometimes it helps her understand and other times it doesn't and it feels like a bit of a waste of time her reading over stuff during the appointment. I wouldn't like to give her anything in advance to read because that's asking her to do extra work. Sadly, I talk to her in my head a lot. I annoy myself with that at times.

I would possibly get in touch with the CMHT or informal crisis team if I wasn't so anxious on the phone, but my support worker has been today anyway so it might look like I was asking for more support than I deserve.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old Yesterday, 07:52 PM   #1222
nonperson
 
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"Proper adults" still need and have help with lots of things though. I didn't mean to imply you were being ungrateful. I just meant that help is given in all sorts of ways and other adults do need help with more things than is apparent sometimes.

I also have conversations with people in my head. It's a way of organising thoughts, I think.

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Old Yesterday, 08:05 PM   #1223
Stellata
 
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I just wanted to leave some kind thoughts and gentleness here for you.

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Old Yesterday, 08:07 PM   #1224
one_step_closer
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I know you weren't meaning I was ungrateful. It's sort of strange to think that there likely aren't any 100% adult people who can do all the things, like everyone sees someone as 'more adult' than them in certain situations.

I'm getting drained by a friend who is in hospital texting me. I want to be there for her but sometimes I'm not in the right headspace and even when I tell her that she keeps bombarding me with stuff and getting onto me if I don't reply. I feel for her because I know that it's boring in hospital and sometimes all you do is stare at your phone waiting for someone to reply to you. I don't know how to get the balance right for her.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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