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Old 05-11-2019, 06:53 PM   #61
Cacoethes
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I'm still not happy about the ECT but I know I have no choice and I have to go otherwise they will move me to another ward and restrain and sedate me to get me there.
So it's better to just go



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 05-11-2019, 06:54 PM   #62
one_step_closer
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That does sound like a better option. I'm sorry you don't feel like you have much of a choice but I hope that the ECT does benefit you and you begin to feel better about the treatment etc.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 05-11-2019, 07:16 PM   #63
Cacoethes
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Thank you
Suppose only time will tell



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 07-11-2019, 08:28 PM   #64
Auror.
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I know it sucks, but making the choice to cooperate and have ECT instead of fighting it IS still a choice. Even if it doesn't feel like a good choice or that you had any good options. So I think that's something to be proud of.

How are you getting on?



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Old 07-11-2019, 09:01 PM   #65
Cacoethes
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Thanks Camden

That voices haven't been good today.
Telling me to hurt people. And I want to.
But I had some meds and the nurse took me for a walk and then I had a nap so feeling slightly better than earlier



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 08-11-2019, 02:36 PM   #66
one_step_closer
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That sounds distressing, even if you feel like you do want to hurt people. I'm glad the staff are looking after you. Are you feeling any better today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 08-11-2019, 02:44 PM   #67
Cacoethes
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Thanks

I'm feeling a bit better today
Although was annoyed into waking up with staff coming in every 2 seconds so not happy about that
I'm so sick of being here and there's no sign of discharge anytime soon
Especially as I have to have ECT and thats 2 sessions a week for at least 6 sessions if the second opinion doctor agrees I should have it. Which I imagine they will.
I just want to go home
I swear this place is making me depressed
I wasn't depressed before I came in!
Plus the doctor said I have delusions which annoyed me also



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 08-11-2019, 02:47 PM   #68
one_step_closer
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I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. I can relate to not wanting to be in hospital and feeling like it's making you depressed. If you work with the staff and get the right treatment then hopefully you will get home asap and stay well at home so you don't need another admission. I also understand your annoyance at being told you have delusions since that's other peoples belief and not yours, but it's just a word to describe things.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 08-11-2019, 03:08 PM   #69
Cacoethes
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Thanks

I think I'll be going on a CTO when I leave so it will just mean it's easier to re-admit me if I refuse the depo. The rispiridone is doing literally nothing except give me side effects so I really don't see the point in taking it.
I know it's just a word but I'm just so frustrated that no one believes me



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Old 08-11-2019, 04:17 PM   #70
one_step_closer
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I guess it might take time to notice a difference and then if there is no difference after a certain amount of time some changes might be made. It must be frustrating that people are going against what you're experiencing and don't share your beliefs. I don't think that people don't believe you as such. I hope that things become clearer for you all soon.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 08-11-2019, 08:07 PM   #71
Cacoethes
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Thanks lindsay
I think after the next depo on Monday then I'm coming off the rispiridone tablets which is good because of the side effects
It is very frustrating
I don't know how to make them understand



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 08-11-2019, 09:41 PM   #72
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I think unfortunately professionals don't get that they can validate and believe that what is going on for you is real while also disagreeing with whether or not it is grounded in reality. I don't know if that helps, but like what you are going through is very real and very distressing for you. Regardless of if they think it is or not. And by not believing you, that can also invalidate your struggles and feelings. It's a hard thing for professionals because I think they think that by validating how you feel that reinforces beliefs that they think are harmful/dangerous. When in fact that might actually help you get some relief. It's very nuanced, and professionals aren't so good with that.

Are the side effects something you've told them about?



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Old 08-11-2019, 10:28 PM   #73
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Are they swapping you to paliperidone? Or staying on riseridone? The two are fairly similar except paliperidone is often effective in people who don’t respond to first line APs.





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Old 08-11-2019, 10:57 PM   #74
Cacoethes
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That makes sense Camden
I have told them about the side effects. They just prescribed procycladine which tbf does lessen them most of the time. Not all the time though.

I'm still on the rispiridone.
A mh nurse when I was at the general hospital told me about paliperidone but said they don't like using it too much because it's more expensive apparently?
It's probably the only AP I haven't tried



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 09-11-2019, 11:46 AM   #75
one_step_closer
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So you'll be on the Risperdal Consta (depot) but not the tablets any more? I hope that has less side effects for you, I've been on it but can't remember much about it. I think Paliperidone is really good too, I'm sure it helped me. Maybe you could mention it if you think it would be worth discussing.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 09-11-2019, 12:59 PM   #76
Cacoethes
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Yep.
I don't think I really get any side effects from the depot oddly, just the tablets. I'm only on the tablets until the depot properly kicks in.
I might mention paliperidone if the rispiridone continues to be useless.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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