What do I say to this??? *slight trigger*

[DestroyMe]

my grandma on my fathers side decided that on my birthday at dinner she would talk about how she "needed to be on a diet and lose weight etc etc" and every subject that's not appropriate for a person recovering from an ED to be talking about.
a week before she said to my face "we don't want you to get too fat we might not recognize you"
this has been playing over in my head for a month now.
it doesn't help at all that I hear constantly "you look so much better at x pounds then you did at x...you looked pale and washed out then and you had no energy. I'm glad you're gaining"

How can I tell my family that talking about things like that triggers me?
my nan on my mum's side had an ED as well so she knows the signs, but doesn't exactly know that telling me I look "better" makes me want to relapse.
I associate "better" with fat-target-for-bad-men


I signed a contract with my therapist that I was not to act on any behaviors ED or other wise.
and I was good until about a week before my birthday.
now I'm right back where I started

I don't know what to do.
...sorry for the long thread...

[dark0fday]

Hi, I just wanted to say I'm sorry this is happening to you *hugs*. Is there any way you could perhaps let her know through writing a letter? They're likely not to realise that you find these discussions triggering unless you let them know what's wrong. xx

[Ninja Orange]

Karessa, you changed your name! I didn't recognise you until I started reading! *annoyed*

I don't really know what to say about your situation, because I haven't really had the experience myself. Since your grandmother had an ED herself, would you find it easier to talk to her about it? Maybe if it's weird to bring it up yourself, if she says anything like that again, tell her "please don#t say that, it's triggering" or something. Also, your mum seems like a supportive enough person, would you be able to talk to her and ask her to talk to the grandmothers?

[DestroyMe]

oops sorry Anna :p
my mum doesn't talk to my grandma on my dad's side, they don't get along. but my nan {whom I live with} knows that somethings up with me lately {pretty much in a really bad relapse...>.>} she's too polite to ask.
and letters never really helped in my family..they tend to read it, disregurd it and go on with their life, my grandmother on my dad's side seems to have this warped idea that "once you just gain a few lbs you're completely fine and over an ED" and it's not like that.
she doesn't agree with much of anything that I do in my life as a whole and we've never really talked. so the less I have to say to her about my ED and the like the better.
my mum doesn't know I've relapsed and the big issue at hand atm is their supposed to be coming up here for the summer {mum, my sister...and...mum's...boyfriend}
and I have major issues if she brings him with her.
I feel like if I have a "body" or "look like a girl" I'll be a target for farther abuse from...the guy my mum's seeing
my therapist said that I could report him to child services but that terrifies me, mum's only with him because he provides her with a place to live and etc. needless to say she knows what happened and doesn't believe me.....

the Boyfriend said that if he did come up with mum that I could just stay with him at his so I didn't have to be around mum's b/f...but i don't know how that will go.
and ugh....

sorry for the essay

[Ninja Orange]

You're forgiven for confusing me :P

Since your mum doesn't talk to that grandma, am I to assume you don't talk to her much either? Or am I wrong? Anyway, if so, I think the easiest course of action would be to just avoid talking to her completely. She's too triggering. Can you talk to your nan though? She sounds like a much more understanding person. If she knows something's going on but is too polite to ask, can you try to bring it up yourself?

About your mum's boyfriend, do take up Jakk's offer, I think it'll be better for you than staying. I know you said you "don't know how that will go", but you won't know until you do it.

*many hugs*